Thursday, December 21, 2006

10 EATING TIPS FOR THE HOLIDAYS

I don't know who wrote this...I've received it twice as a forwarded e-mail. It makes me chuckle each time I read it.

10 EATING TIPS FOR THE HOLIDAYS

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can and quickly. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an "eggnog-aholic" or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas. Not sure what the thrill is...rather drink my mom's whiskey slush she makes for the holidays! Now THAT is worth blowing calories for!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand-alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat. Again, not a big fan of gravy, but it does make me smile (reminds me of the people I know that already do this.)

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission. Even better is cream cheese and/or sour cream!!! Full Fat!

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello???
Amen!!

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
I can't wait to share this with my Dr. as my reason for decreasing my visits to the gym!

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position your self near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again. Uh oh...I've been busted!!

8. Same for pies. Apple, pumpkin and mincemeat -- have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all costs. I mean, have some standards. Hmmm...I've never had fruitcake, but I hear they soak them in rum. Can anything soaked in alcohol be bad?

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips. Start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body. But rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO what a ride!" My philosophy on life!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS !!

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