Today I turned the big 3-5. My friends tried their hardest to bug me about it, but since they are older than I am it didn't mean much.
This morning my parents made the hour trip (one way) to take me (and Hubby and Peanut) out for breakfast. Unfortunately, we had made plans a week ago to have our cable upgraded to digital this morning so only Peanut and I went. Hubby stayed home to wait for the cable guy who (big surprise) didn't show up until an hour after we had returned from breakfast. My parents were able to visit for a couple of hours...for the first time in about a year.
So, the morning went well. Then I became annoyed with Hubby.
I don't expect much for my birthday and my presents can be very simple. The minimum I ask for (which I explained to Hubby when we were dating) is a cake (small and simple...a cupcake would make me happy), a "Happy Birthday" (can be said by a card) , and a small gift (doesn't need to be much...Hubby cleaning the house would rock my world and probably get Hubby a "gift" himself). So you can imagine my delight when there was no cake, no "Happy Birthday" (verbal or a card...which could have been grabbed from the card box I keep), and Hubby looked at me and said, "Would you like to go shopping today?" "I didn't know what to get you for your birthday!"
Oh...I was SO not happy. We have been married for 10 years and we dated for 5 years before that! And he still doesn't know what to get me????
So I went and sulked. I did try to do it so he didn't know...honestly. Usually, I'd do it out in the open and I'd usually throw in a "fit." Now that I'm mature, I decided to keep it to myself.
I think I did pretty good to...I went into the bedroom and pretended to read a book.
When I was done I told Hubby we could go shopping, but I couldn't think of anything I needed (although I told him there were plenty of things I want). I asked him what he had thought about getting me. He said he wanted to get me a 46" flat panel, LCD television but we'd had a talk about this and couldn't decide if we wanted it mounted or on a credenza and if we wanted to spend all of that money.
So, we went and looked at t.v.s. I am now the proud owner of the above mentioned television (which was a LOT more expensive then planned because they didn't have the one we wanted in stock) and a beautiful credenza.
I am very happy with my gifts (unlike the cake, it doesn't add inches to me...unless I watch it a lot) and, needless to say, so is my hubby. I think the gift was for me (hahaha!).
I wonder what I'll get next year...a convertible?? A new house??? I can't wait!!
Until next time...
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Sunday, December 24, 2006
Not On The Carpet!
Everybody has one of "those moments" that they become "famous" for...even if that fame is contained to family and friends. As you grow up these moments can stick or new ones may take their place. My new "moment" occured Friday. I can just hope it doesn't stick.
Friday evening, my mother had everybody (all five of her sisters and their spouses, all of my cousins and their families, my siblings and their families, my sister-in-law's parents, and my grandmother) over for a family celebration. Normally, it would have been a Christmas party, but with an aunt receiving the wonderful news that she did NOT have breast cancer as orginally thought and a cousin who just finish basic training and is expecting to get shipped to Iraq by summer...mom called it a "Family Celebration." Whatever you called it, it was so nice. For once...there was no arguing and everyone was there.
Anyway, my cousin R.D. was there with his little girl A. who is 2. A. is the most adorable little girl. She is VERY loving. Anyway, A., along with all of the other little ones, was dancing in the living room to some music that my mom had playing. Well, her grandma had given her some food that she was eating while she danced. All of a sudden, A. fell down to the floor and grabbed her chest. We all stopped and asked her if she was ok. She didn't answer but she got up and seemed ok (she doesn't talk much). Everyone else went back to their conversations, but I was sitting off by myself (it was the only chair available) watching the kids. I noticed that A. kept tapping her chest, so I called her over. She climbed up on my lap. I looked at her and something didn't seem right. So I said, "A.! Say, "Daddy!" Say, "Daddy!" My aunt, A.'s grandma came over. I told her that I didn't think A. was breathing right, but I didn't know if it was that she just wouldn't speak to me...being as shy as she is. My aunt grabbed her, yelled for my brother who is a paramedic, flipped A. over and started whacking on A.'s back. I stepped to the side. When I realized (my first "Duh!" moment) what was going to happen if she spit the food up, I apparently started to channel my mother (granted the woman is not dead and was in the other room...so maybe it was just my "Barb" moment). I looked at my aunt who was still whacking on A.'s back and said (are you ready...this is my "moment"), "get her off the carpet!" With that, I ran to the entry way which is tiled (and easier to clean), rolled back the rug and gestured to my aunt to bring A. Thankfully, I was the only idiot Friday and everyone ignored me. Moments later, A. was breathing fine (I'm not sure if anything ever came up or what happened)...there was no mess (at least a big one) to clean up...and it started to register with everyone what I had done.
My mom was horrified that I would be seemingly more concerned with the carpet than my little cousin, but in my defense...I am my mother's daughter. It wasn't that I wasn't concerned about A., but I also knew how my mom handles any kind of mess on her carpet and the entry way was only 3 steps away from where we were.
So...that was my moment. I'm hoping it won't "stick." I'd hate to be reminded every year about the time I was willing to sacrifice my little cousin for a clean carpet. I may have to make a deal with my mom not to ever again repeat the story of how she "fed" my brother on his 1st birthday a plastic clown head (from his cake) on a spike (she had given it to him so he could lick of the frosting and he stuck it in his mouth spike first...which she quickly removed from his mouth).
Hope your holidays are safe and "moment" free.
Until later...
Friday evening, my mother had everybody (all five of her sisters and their spouses, all of my cousins and their families, my siblings and their families, my sister-in-law's parents, and my grandmother) over for a family celebration. Normally, it would have been a Christmas party, but with an aunt receiving the wonderful news that she did NOT have breast cancer as orginally thought and a cousin who just finish basic training and is expecting to get shipped to Iraq by summer...mom called it a "Family Celebration." Whatever you called it, it was so nice. For once...there was no arguing and everyone was there.
Anyway, my cousin R.D. was there with his little girl A. who is 2. A. is the most adorable little girl. She is VERY loving. Anyway, A., along with all of the other little ones, was dancing in the living room to some music that my mom had playing. Well, her grandma had given her some food that she was eating while she danced. All of a sudden, A. fell down to the floor and grabbed her chest. We all stopped and asked her if she was ok. She didn't answer but she got up and seemed ok (she doesn't talk much). Everyone else went back to their conversations, but I was sitting off by myself (it was the only chair available) watching the kids. I noticed that A. kept tapping her chest, so I called her over. She climbed up on my lap. I looked at her and something didn't seem right. So I said, "A.! Say, "Daddy!" Say, "Daddy!" My aunt, A.'s grandma came over. I told her that I didn't think A. was breathing right, but I didn't know if it was that she just wouldn't speak to me...being as shy as she is. My aunt grabbed her, yelled for my brother who is a paramedic, flipped A. over and started whacking on A.'s back. I stepped to the side. When I realized (my first "Duh!" moment) what was going to happen if she spit the food up, I apparently started to channel my mother (granted the woman is not dead and was in the other room...so maybe it was just my "Barb" moment). I looked at my aunt who was still whacking on A.'s back and said (are you ready...this is my "moment"), "get her off the carpet!" With that, I ran to the entry way which is tiled (and easier to clean), rolled back the rug and gestured to my aunt to bring A. Thankfully, I was the only idiot Friday and everyone ignored me. Moments later, A. was breathing fine (I'm not sure if anything ever came up or what happened)...there was no mess (at least a big one) to clean up...and it started to register with everyone what I had done.
My mom was horrified that I would be seemingly more concerned with the carpet than my little cousin, but in my defense...I am my mother's daughter. It wasn't that I wasn't concerned about A., but I also knew how my mom handles any kind of mess on her carpet and the entry way was only 3 steps away from where we were.
So...that was my moment. I'm hoping it won't "stick." I'd hate to be reminded every year about the time I was willing to sacrifice my little cousin for a clean carpet. I may have to make a deal with my mom not to ever again repeat the story of how she "fed" my brother on his 1st birthday a plastic clown head (from his cake) on a spike (she had given it to him so he could lick of the frosting and he stuck it in his mouth spike first...which she quickly removed from his mouth).
Hope your holidays are safe and "moment" free.
Until later...
Thursday, December 21, 2006
10 EATING TIPS FOR THE HOLIDAYS
I don't know who wrote this...I've received it twice as a forwarded e-mail. It makes me chuckle each time I read it.
10 EATING TIPS FOR THE HOLIDAYS
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can and quickly. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an "eggnog-aholic" or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas. Not sure what the thrill is...rather drink my mom's whiskey slush she makes for the holidays! Now THAT is worth blowing calories for!
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand-alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat. Again, not a big fan of gravy, but it does make me smile (reminds me of the people I know that already do this.)
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission. Even better is cream cheese and/or sour cream!!! Full Fat!
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello???
Amen!!
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
I can't wait to share this with my Dr. as my reason for decreasing my visits to the gym!
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position your self near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again. Uh oh...I've been busted!!
8. Same for pies. Apple, pumpkin and mincemeat -- have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all costs. I mean, have some standards. Hmmm...I've never had fruitcake, but I hear they soak them in rum. Can anything soaked in alcohol be bad?
10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips. Start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.
Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body. But rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO what a ride!" My philosophy on life!
HAPPY HOLIDAYS !!
10 EATING TIPS FOR THE HOLIDAYS
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can and quickly. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an "eggnog-aholic" or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas. Not sure what the thrill is...rather drink my mom's whiskey slush she makes for the holidays! Now THAT is worth blowing calories for!
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand-alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat. Again, not a big fan of gravy, but it does make me smile (reminds me of the people I know that already do this.)
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission. Even better is cream cheese and/or sour cream!!! Full Fat!
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello???
Amen!!
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
I can't wait to share this with my Dr. as my reason for decreasing my visits to the gym!
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position your self near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again. Uh oh...I've been busted!!
8. Same for pies. Apple, pumpkin and mincemeat -- have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all costs. I mean, have some standards. Hmmm...I've never had fruitcake, but I hear they soak them in rum. Can anything soaked in alcohol be bad?
10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips. Start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.
Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body. But rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO what a ride!" My philosophy on life!
HAPPY HOLIDAYS !!
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
I Survived!!
I've once again survived the annual classroom holiday party. This year, however, I am really proud of myself for doing so.
I survived 15 spills (we rarely have spills), 3 small children terrified of Santa, 2 temper tantrums (only), 1 sibling visiting with a parent that ate a classroom book and 2 "oops! I didn't make it to the bathroom in time" accidents involving solid waste (unfortunately they both happened to same poor little guy who NEVER has accidents). Did I mention that I had to do this twice?
Overall, it wasn't a bad day. I love to see the students with Santa (although I feel bad about the ones that are terrified of him). It brings back some wonderful memories from my childhood.
My most embarrassing moment today: I went to pour myself a cup of fruit juice because I was incredibly thristy. As I was doing that I said to myself (out loud), "Man! I need a drink!" Then, I realized that I had two moms standing near me and was so embarrassed! Thankfully, I knew one mom really well and the other started laughing. I quickly explained I meant I needed something to drink because my throat was so dry...which was true!
Second most embarrassing moment today: At lunch my coworkers were talking about birthdays near the holidays and how you get "screwed" out of presents. One of them looked at me and asked (because my birthday is Dec. 28), "Ann, do you get screwed on your birthday?" My mouth flew open and just as I was getting ready to spit out a really wise-ass comment, I noticed that "Santa" was sitting with us. I decided my reply was not appropriate for mixed company (especially since this nice man was a co-workers father-in-law who was so sweet). I guess my verbal response was not needed, because they all started laughing and said, "We got it! We can hear your thoughts!!!" More like read my facial expressions. Oh well.
Tomorrow is our last day before break! Must go and get rested.
Until later...
I survived 15 spills (we rarely have spills), 3 small children terrified of Santa, 2 temper tantrums (only), 1 sibling visiting with a parent that ate a classroom book and 2 "oops! I didn't make it to the bathroom in time" accidents involving solid waste (unfortunately they both happened to same poor little guy who NEVER has accidents). Did I mention that I had to do this twice?
Overall, it wasn't a bad day. I love to see the students with Santa (although I feel bad about the ones that are terrified of him). It brings back some wonderful memories from my childhood.
My most embarrassing moment today: I went to pour myself a cup of fruit juice because I was incredibly thristy. As I was doing that I said to myself (out loud), "Man! I need a drink!" Then, I realized that I had two moms standing near me and was so embarrassed! Thankfully, I knew one mom really well and the other started laughing. I quickly explained I meant I needed something to drink because my throat was so dry...which was true!
Second most embarrassing moment today: At lunch my coworkers were talking about birthdays near the holidays and how you get "screwed" out of presents. One of them looked at me and asked (because my birthday is Dec. 28), "Ann, do you get screwed on your birthday?" My mouth flew open and just as I was getting ready to spit out a really wise-ass comment, I noticed that "Santa" was sitting with us. I decided my reply was not appropriate for mixed company (especially since this nice man was a co-workers father-in-law who was so sweet). I guess my verbal response was not needed, because they all started laughing and said, "We got it! We can hear your thoughts!!!" More like read my facial expressions. Oh well.
Tomorrow is our last day before break! Must go and get rested.
Until later...
Sunday, December 17, 2006
Done Shopping!
Yipeee!!! I'm done Christmas shopping! I just finished tonight at 8 p.m. Now I only have to:
*finish addressing my cards and get those sent out tomorrow morning
*wrap all of the presents I have at the house
*get 24 chocolate reindeer suckers made by Tuesday (and wrap 24 presents for the kids at school by Tuesday)
*make carmel corn, fudge, sugar cookies, 2 different types of dessert dips, cucumber sandwiches (the sandwiches are supposed to be for tomorrow)
*pray like crazy that all of the presents ordered on-line (including those ordered today that promised delivery by Dec. 22) will arrive by Friday...except for the gift cards that need to be here tomorrow (they were supposed to be bought at the store but hubby was put in charge and decided to do things his way. Oh well, they are for his family).
Well, since I still have cards to address and addresses to look up I must go.
Until next time...
*finish addressing my cards and get those sent out tomorrow morning
*wrap all of the presents I have at the house
*get 24 chocolate reindeer suckers made by Tuesday (and wrap 24 presents for the kids at school by Tuesday)
*make carmel corn, fudge, sugar cookies, 2 different types of dessert dips, cucumber sandwiches (the sandwiches are supposed to be for tomorrow)
*pray like crazy that all of the presents ordered on-line (including those ordered today that promised delivery by Dec. 22) will arrive by Friday...except for the gift cards that need to be here tomorrow (they were supposed to be bought at the store but hubby was put in charge and decided to do things his way. Oh well, they are for his family).
Well, since I still have cards to address and addresses to look up I must go.
Until next time...
Spamalot
Tonight (this morning) will be a short post, but I felt like sharing.
Today hubby's brother and his brother's girlfriend came to visit. This has been planned for some time as we were going to see Spamalot. Originally, we were going to take hubby's dad who is a HUGE Monty Python fan and we also invited the rest of the family. Unfortunately, my father-in-law and his wife are in the process of moving to Ohio where he recently started new job and no one else was interested.
Anyway, if you haven't seen Spamalot you absolutely MUST see it! It is hysterically funny! I attend many plays/musicals and have enjoyed 99% of them. However, I have never enjoyed one so much I said, "It's over already?" I think it might have been shorter than other plays that I've seen, but still...it flew!! Granted I am a Monty Python fan...although I don't consider myself a huge fan...but I think this play is better than the movie it is taken from.
Ladies, if you have a man that shies away from the theater (but loves to watch women who are scantily dressed) you might be able to drag him to this. Let him know that there are a number of scenes where women come out in very small costumes. In one spot, a model-looking blonde walks across the stage a couple of times in nothing but white underwear (with bra or bustier...sp?), garter belt, stockings and heels.
In addition to finding the show really funny, I also loved the brightly colored costumes, props and backgrounds. Not everything was bright, but there were a lot of bright colors. And the actors and actresses were fabulous!! The woman the played the "Lady of the Lake" has a voice that blew me away!
So, if you are looking for a way to spend an afternoon or evening with a lot of laughs...give Spamalot a try. If you decide to see it...enjoy!
Until later...
Today hubby's brother and his brother's girlfriend came to visit. This has been planned for some time as we were going to see Spamalot. Originally, we were going to take hubby's dad who is a HUGE Monty Python fan and we also invited the rest of the family. Unfortunately, my father-in-law and his wife are in the process of moving to Ohio where he recently started new job and no one else was interested.
Anyway, if you haven't seen Spamalot you absolutely MUST see it! It is hysterically funny! I attend many plays/musicals and have enjoyed 99% of them. However, I have never enjoyed one so much I said, "It's over already?" I think it might have been shorter than other plays that I've seen, but still...it flew!! Granted I am a Monty Python fan...although I don't consider myself a huge fan...but I think this play is better than the movie it is taken from.
Ladies, if you have a man that shies away from the theater (but loves to watch women who are scantily dressed) you might be able to drag him to this. Let him know that there are a number of scenes where women come out in very small costumes. In one spot, a model-looking blonde walks across the stage a couple of times in nothing but white underwear (with bra or bustier...sp?), garter belt, stockings and heels.
In addition to finding the show really funny, I also loved the brightly colored costumes, props and backgrounds. Not everything was bright, but there were a lot of bright colors. And the actors and actresses were fabulous!! The woman the played the "Lady of the Lake" has a voice that blew me away!
So, if you are looking for a way to spend an afternoon or evening with a lot of laughs...give Spamalot a try. If you decide to see it...enjoy!
Until later...
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
A Wonderful Day
Today has been wonderful. It wasn't perfect, but it was still wonderful. Peanut woke up early this morning in a great mood. Work went smoothly. When I picked up Peanut from the sitter's house, he'd had a good day and he had taken a nap.
When Peanut and I got home, we were able to play outside for a while...the otherwise overcast and cold day was briefly sunny and cool (for about an hour). While we were playing in the yard, a squirrel ran by Peanut with a piece of bread. We were able to stand there and watch the squirrel search for a place to store his bread, dig his hole, cover it, and leave. Peanut was amazed! We followed this with a short walk around the block.
Peanut and I made dinner together. It was so fun! By the time hubby got home from work we were all ready to go shopping. Okay...you need to know that I NEVER go to the mall after Thanksgiving. I try not to go to any store after Thanksgiving unless it is the grocery store. So going and taking Peanut...not high on my list of favorite things to do. Well, I couldn't have asked for a better kid...well behaved, followed directions, happy...hubby was the cranky one (but even he was too awful).
I now have only hubby's step-dad, my grandma, Peanut's sitter, a friend of mine and Peanut to buy for. The first three are getting gift certificates that hubby will pick up tomorrow. My friend and Peanut will be finished sometime next week. First, I have to figure out what to get them!
So, now I'm off to bed (before midnight!!!). Until next time...
When Peanut and I got home, we were able to play outside for a while...the otherwise overcast and cold day was briefly sunny and cool (for about an hour). While we were playing in the yard, a squirrel ran by Peanut with a piece of bread. We were able to stand there and watch the squirrel search for a place to store his bread, dig his hole, cover it, and leave. Peanut was amazed! We followed this with a short walk around the block.
Peanut and I made dinner together. It was so fun! By the time hubby got home from work we were all ready to go shopping. Okay...you need to know that I NEVER go to the mall after Thanksgiving. I try not to go to any store after Thanksgiving unless it is the grocery store. So going and taking Peanut...not high on my list of favorite things to do. Well, I couldn't have asked for a better kid...well behaved, followed directions, happy...hubby was the cranky one (but even he was too awful).
I now have only hubby's step-dad, my grandma, Peanut's sitter, a friend of mine and Peanut to buy for. The first three are getting gift certificates that hubby will pick up tomorrow. My friend and Peanut will be finished sometime next week. First, I have to figure out what to get them!
So, now I'm off to bed (before midnight!!!). Until next time...
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Catching Up
Well, the peanut had five good days in a row. He even did well on Saturday when we drove to Toledo, OH to have Christmas with hubby's dad's side of the family...in a hotel lobby. Of course, this year I do have to say that dinner reservations were made for 6 pm instead of 7 pm which made a big difference. We also had a private room for dinner...although the place was empty. Just these couple of things made a huge difference. Thank you family!!
Yesterday I stayed home from work. I was feeling sick...from nerves. I have so much to do with so little time to do it that I make myself sick worrying about it...while putting it all off. I know that most of the stuff on my "to-do" list is stuff that doesn't NEED to be done, such as: making cookies, making candy and other holiday baking, sending cards, and making sure that every Christmas decoration I own is put out.
Hubby says I need anti-anxiety medicine. I told him I just need a husband that helps out. That probably wasn't totally fair of me to say because he does do some stuff (washes his laundry and sometimes Peanut's, takes out the garbage, hung the Christmas lights...only one strand, gets the "stuff" out of the attic, and other tasks when asked...a minimum of 3 times.
But seriously, I think it'd be great to be my hubby during the holidays. I do all of the shopping for presents (last year I even had to buy mine). I do all of the cooking (he will go get fast food if he needs to "cook"). I send out the cards (although I realize he doesn't understand why we do cards at all...or have a tree...or lights...etc.). He is also incapable of scheduling any activities with his family...even though I post a large calendar in the kitchen listing all of the activities for each family member with time, etc. I even note when I want a night with nothing planned.
From where I'm standing, being my hubby during the holidays is wonderful.
Well, since I have lots to do, I need to get going instead of increasing my anxiety.
Until next time...
Yesterday I stayed home from work. I was feeling sick...from nerves. I have so much to do with so little time to do it that I make myself sick worrying about it...while putting it all off. I know that most of the stuff on my "to-do" list is stuff that doesn't NEED to be done, such as: making cookies, making candy and other holiday baking, sending cards, and making sure that every Christmas decoration I own is put out.
Hubby says I need anti-anxiety medicine. I told him I just need a husband that helps out. That probably wasn't totally fair of me to say because he does do some stuff (washes his laundry and sometimes Peanut's, takes out the garbage, hung the Christmas lights...only one strand, gets the "stuff" out of the attic, and other tasks when asked...a minimum of 3 times.
But seriously, I think it'd be great to be my hubby during the holidays. I do all of the shopping for presents (last year I even had to buy mine). I do all of the cooking (he will go get fast food if he needs to "cook"). I send out the cards (although I realize he doesn't understand why we do cards at all...or have a tree...or lights...etc.). He is also incapable of scheduling any activities with his family...even though I post a large calendar in the kitchen listing all of the activities for each family member with time, etc. I even note when I want a night with nothing planned.
From where I'm standing, being my hubby during the holidays is wonderful.
Well, since I have lots to do, I need to get going instead of increasing my anxiety.
Until next time...
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Two Peanut Stories
My son, who will turn 3 in January, drove his first "car" on Friday. He took four of his friends for a joy-ride in the babysitter's van. Hmmmm...if this is what he's doing before he's 3, I'm terrified of what he'll do when he becomes a teenager. Apparently, the babysitter was trying to load the children (there were 5) into her van. Because the weather was so bitterly cold on Friday, she decided to turn the van on and let it run. I'm not sure how everything went down, but I do know that the sitter was trying to strap in one of the younger boys (about 1 1/2 years old). While she was doing that, Peanut jumped up in the driver's seat and pretended to drive (he does this all of the time no matter what you do). In the process of "driving" the van, he slipped the van into 'drive.' He then proceeded for a couple of feet and drove through a chain link fence/gate and into the babysitter's backyard. Luckily, no one was injured and the van only has a vertical dent that is a perfect impression of the 2 inch wide metal pole that was part of the fence/gate. The gate had the most damage, but nothing that wasn't easily fixed. The babysitter didn't tell me this (she told me no one and nothing got hurt), Peanut did. I have to admit that I thought that this was funny when I heard about it (right after I confirmed that everything and everyone was alright). I did not laugh, but I really wanted to.
On Thursday, Peanut and I had run some errands and on the way home I asked him what he wanted for dinner...tuna fish or sloppy joes. He replied that he wanted tacos. I tried to explain to him that I did not have any money on me to pay for tacos (from Taco Bell which is where he loves to eat). As we continued the drive home, we drove by a Taco Bell. When I had driven by it, he said, "Momma! I said I want tacos from there!" I once again tried to explain why we couldn't have tacos. His reply..."But Momma!! That's what I wanted! Momma...I am so disappointed in you." I was able to hide my giggles this time also.
Well, before I fall asleep, I need to be off.
Until next time...
On Thursday, Peanut and I had run some errands and on the way home I asked him what he wanted for dinner...tuna fish or sloppy joes. He replied that he wanted tacos. I tried to explain to him that I did not have any money on me to pay for tacos (from Taco Bell which is where he loves to eat). As we continued the drive home, we drove by a Taco Bell. When I had driven by it, he said, "Momma! I said I want tacos from there!" I once again tried to explain why we couldn't have tacos. His reply..."But Momma!! That's what I wanted! Momma...I am so disappointed in you." I was able to hide my giggles this time also.
Well, before I fall asleep, I need to be off.
Until next time...
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
'Tis the Season
Christmas. I love it...most of the time.
For my family, Christmas starts 1-2 weeks before Thanksgiving. Yes, that's right. Thanksgiving. This is not really by choice. If I had my way we would start the day after Thanksgiving. However, we can't usually do that due to everything we have going on.
We start "celebrating" (more acurately...preparing for) Christmas before Thanksgiving by putting up the inside Christmas decorations. I refuse to put up the outside decorations until after Thanksgiving...I don't want my neighbors leaving hate mail!
The day after Thanksgiving, hubby usually works and Peanut and I spend a day playing. That evening, one of my favorite friends holds an annual party that I try very hard not to miss (he lives out of state and I only see him on this day each year). The next day we travel across the state to see the in-laws and come home on Sunday.
The following weekend usually consists of taking my son to my dad's work Christmas party and to our adoption group Christmas party. This year we added a trip with my brother and his family to the tree farm to cut down a tree for them. I wanted Peanut to have the experience that is a major part of my childhood memories. Next year I'd like to have a real tree, but I'm not sure it is practical for our family.
The second weekend of the month is taken up with a trip out of state to celebrate with hubby's father and that part of the family. This year, everyone has been absolutely fantastic, and we are traveling to a central location (although this "central location" is 1 1/2 hrs from our house and 2 1/2 hours or more for everyone else) and eating at least an hour earlier than normal to meet the needs of Peanut. Usually, this is the side we get the "Granny Death Letters" from and tons of drama. This year it is gone. Yippee!!!
The following weekend should have been fairly relaxed, but that would be asking too much. We are having company (hubby's brother and his girlfriend)...this is NOT the problem. I love these two and wish they could visit more often (hubby and I started dating with my brother-in-law was in 5th or 6th grade and it's been wonderful watching him grow up into the great guy he is today)! But I digress...the stressful part of the weekend is due to the fact that we are going into the city to see a play (1/2 hr. drive) and our babysitter for that weekend has cancelled. The only person available is my mom who lives an hour away. This means driving an hour up to drop off my son, driving an hour and a half back to the theater, then making the 2 1/2 round trip drive back up to my mom's after the play to pick up my son (no...she won't keep him overnight). Yippee. Five hours on the road (if the traffic and weather co-operate) then a couple of hours sitting through the play. Hubby offered to make the trip up (hopefully, he'll remember that he said he'll do this and not get all pissy when the time comes to make the trip). I suggested we all ride up to pick up Peanut, that way our visitors can see a part of the state that they haven't seen in years.
The weekend after that will hopefully be "relaxed." At this point we are planning on staying home (making one trip to my parents in order to visit my cousin home on leave from the service) and taking care of last minute items for Christmas. However, I expect this to all be blown away because we still have to work in some time to spend with hubby's mom and that side of the family (makes me thankful my parents are still together...4 Christmas' would drive me nuts).
The last weekend of the month is MINE!!! I will be doing what I want! It's my birthday and New Years. As of right now, I have no plans and will probably keep it that way. The most we'll do is invite friends in for movies, drinks, snacks, and to watch the town's fireworks from our front porch.
Actually, this year is going to be less stressful than last year and I am SO grateful!
Happy Holidays (if you celebrate them) and may you be safe, happy and healthy (regardless of your beliefs).
Ha
For my family, Christmas starts 1-2 weeks before Thanksgiving. Yes, that's right. Thanksgiving. This is not really by choice. If I had my way we would start the day after Thanksgiving. However, we can't usually do that due to everything we have going on.
We start "celebrating" (more acurately...preparing for) Christmas before Thanksgiving by putting up the inside Christmas decorations. I refuse to put up the outside decorations until after Thanksgiving...I don't want my neighbors leaving hate mail!
The day after Thanksgiving, hubby usually works and Peanut and I spend a day playing. That evening, one of my favorite friends holds an annual party that I try very hard not to miss (he lives out of state and I only see him on this day each year). The next day we travel across the state to see the in-laws and come home on Sunday.
The following weekend usually consists of taking my son to my dad's work Christmas party and to our adoption group Christmas party. This year we added a trip with my brother and his family to the tree farm to cut down a tree for them. I wanted Peanut to have the experience that is a major part of my childhood memories. Next year I'd like to have a real tree, but I'm not sure it is practical for our family.
The second weekend of the month is taken up with a trip out of state to celebrate with hubby's father and that part of the family. This year, everyone has been absolutely fantastic, and we are traveling to a central location (although this "central location" is 1 1/2 hrs from our house and 2 1/2 hours or more for everyone else) and eating at least an hour earlier than normal to meet the needs of Peanut. Usually, this is the side we get the "Granny Death Letters" from and tons of drama. This year it is gone. Yippee!!!
The following weekend should have been fairly relaxed, but that would be asking too much. We are having company (hubby's brother and his girlfriend)...this is NOT the problem. I love these two and wish they could visit more often (hubby and I started dating with my brother-in-law was in 5th or 6th grade and it's been wonderful watching him grow up into the great guy he is today)! But I digress...the stressful part of the weekend is due to the fact that we are going into the city to see a play (1/2 hr. drive) and our babysitter for that weekend has cancelled. The only person available is my mom who lives an hour away. This means driving an hour up to drop off my son, driving an hour and a half back to the theater, then making the 2 1/2 round trip drive back up to my mom's after the play to pick up my son (no...she won't keep him overnight). Yippee. Five hours on the road (if the traffic and weather co-operate) then a couple of hours sitting through the play. Hubby offered to make the trip up (hopefully, he'll remember that he said he'll do this and not get all pissy when the time comes to make the trip). I suggested we all ride up to pick up Peanut, that way our visitors can see a part of the state that they haven't seen in years.
The weekend after that will hopefully be "relaxed." At this point we are planning on staying home (making one trip to my parents in order to visit my cousin home on leave from the service) and taking care of last minute items for Christmas. However, I expect this to all be blown away because we still have to work in some time to spend with hubby's mom and that side of the family (makes me thankful my parents are still together...4 Christmas' would drive me nuts).
The last weekend of the month is MINE!!! I will be doing what I want! It's my birthday and New Years. As of right now, I have no plans and will probably keep it that way. The most we'll do is invite friends in for movies, drinks, snacks, and to watch the town's fireworks from our front porch.
Actually, this year is going to be less stressful than last year and I am SO grateful!
Happy Holidays (if you celebrate them) and may you be safe, happy and healthy (regardless of your beliefs).
Ha
Thursday, November 23, 2006
A Good Day
Today was a fabulous day. I didn't have to work today (yeah!), so Peanut and I were able to spend the day together. He was so good!! His birth family (mom, brother and sister) came over today (for the first time since he was about 6 months old), so we spent the early morning cleaning the house.
Peanut was so excited about meeting his brother. His brother is in 3rd grade and an absolute sweetie. Peanut kept saying, "Mama...is ---- coming over today? ---- is gonna play cars with me." Peanut also wanted to meet "K., my first mama." The funny thing is, when they got here and were in the house, the little guy clung to me like they were going to eat him. They are so nice, but he wasn't used to them and felt a little overwhelmed. At one point, (after about an hour of clinging) I was like..."Listen, go play with ---- and ------ or I'm going for a walk around the block and leaving you here with them."
Peanut eventually warmed up and even gave hugs when they left...although he wouldn't hug his brother (whom Peanut was in awe of). Poor ---- was so hurt, but didn't let it show...too much. When I apologized for Peanut's behavior, ---- said, "that's ok." I replied, "No, it isn't. But it's nice of you to say so." To which the third grader said, "Yeah, it is. I have all the hugs I need right here," and with that he pointed to his mom, K. Awe. What a sweetheart...of course so is Peanut's sister.
Our time with Peanut's birth family ended with promises to get together again before Christmas. We have lots of wonderful pictures of our time together> I would love to post them here and show the world our families (in my heart and mind we are family), but I don't want to invade anyone's privacy. Needless to say...I a fairly nice looking bunch!
Back to Peanut and his behavior, which lately have been the source of MANY headaches for me...he was awesome! He "helped" me wash dishes (he ended up with more water on the floor and counter than was in the sink...but the dishes were mostly clean...I only had to touch up a couple), cook, and bake dinner. He also told me he put the soap in the dishwasher (I thought he meant last night he helped Hubby, but I was wrong).
Today was a much needed wonderful day. I am thankful. Tomorrow will hopefully be another fab day as we spend it with my family (we see my in-laws...half of them at least...on Saturday).
Happy Thanksgiving. Here's wishing/hoping/praying that you have lots to be thankful for.
Peanut was so excited about meeting his brother. His brother is in 3rd grade and an absolute sweetie. Peanut kept saying, "Mama...is ---- coming over today? ---- is gonna play cars with me." Peanut also wanted to meet "K., my first mama." The funny thing is, when they got here and were in the house, the little guy clung to me like they were going to eat him. They are so nice, but he wasn't used to them and felt a little overwhelmed. At one point, (after about an hour of clinging) I was like..."Listen, go play with ---- and ------ or I'm going for a walk around the block and leaving you here with them."
Peanut eventually warmed up and even gave hugs when they left...although he wouldn't hug his brother (whom Peanut was in awe of). Poor ---- was so hurt, but didn't let it show...too much. When I apologized for Peanut's behavior, ---- said, "that's ok." I replied, "No, it isn't. But it's nice of you to say so." To which the third grader said, "Yeah, it is. I have all the hugs I need right here," and with that he pointed to his mom, K. Awe. What a sweetheart...of course so is Peanut's sister.
Our time with Peanut's birth family ended with promises to get together again before Christmas. We have lots of wonderful pictures of our time together> I would love to post them here and show the world our families (in my heart and mind we are family), but I don't want to invade anyone's privacy. Needless to say...I a fairly nice looking bunch!
Back to Peanut and his behavior, which lately have been the source of MANY headaches for me...he was awesome! He "helped" me wash dishes (he ended up with more water on the floor and counter than was in the sink...but the dishes were mostly clean...I only had to touch up a couple), cook, and bake dinner. He also told me he put the soap in the dishwasher (I thought he meant last night he helped Hubby, but I was wrong).
Today was a much needed wonderful day. I am thankful. Tomorrow will hopefully be another fab day as we spend it with my family (we see my in-laws...half of them at least...on Saturday).
Happy Thanksgiving. Here's wishing/hoping/praying that you have lots to be thankful for.
Monday, November 20, 2006
The Saga Continues...
Well, we made it through the weekend ok. Peanut made it through Saturday only losing three boxes and Sunday losing two (of course on Sunday the little dear was sick). Today was the first day at the sitter's with his "behavior chart."
The day did not start out good. Hubby woke up resembling a bear (grumpy...not hairy). He started in on Peanut without any good reason (P and I were talking while I was brushing my teeth and H started yelling at P to leave the bathroom because H wanted to shave and P tends to grab at his stuff...P had not done anything as of this time). When Peanut hit Hubby instead of using his words to say what he felt, Hubby didn't say anything. I reminded him that Peanut needed to "lose a box" and in order for it to be useful it had to happen right away.
Hubby had another "fit." He wanted me to take away the box. I explained to him that he had to do it because Peanut hit him. Needless to say, it didn't happen. So much for, "I'll back you up on anything you decide might help him." He should have added "...as long as it doesn't inconvenience me."
The sitter today wasn't much better. I had filled her in on the system and how it worked and why we were doing it the way we were. When I got to her house to pick up Peanut, he had only lost 2 boxes (yeah!). Both were due to hitting a little girl (who's actually older than Peanut) within a half hour of her getting back from preschool. When I told Peanut that I was proud of him for only losing two boxes, the sitter informed me that today his problem was that he was throwing stuff. Of course she had also called me at work to tell me a funny story about my son telling some lady who was coughing, "don't look at me...you're just faking." I was mortified...she laughed. She also said that her husband had been rough-housing with Peanut and Peanut had told him that he had to use "nice hands." Again...I didn't find it funny (am I losing my sense of humor?). You can't rough-house with a two, almost three-year-old child and not expect him to carry that behavior over.
Today, I'm feeling exhausted again. Not only am I trying to rid Peanut of his undesirable behaviors, but now I have to "fight" hubby and the babysitter on my method of fixing the behavior when they had both asked me to come up with a solution. If they have a better one, I am more than willing to try it. Not to mention that I am getting the feeling that no matter what I do, the sitter won't be happy. For some reason, I feel that she just doesn't want to watch Peanut anymore. When I told this to hubby and said that we should just take Peanut back to his old daycare center, he got upset with me!
I'm telling you...I just don't know how much more of this I can take before I crack.
The day did not start out good. Hubby woke up resembling a bear (grumpy...not hairy). He started in on Peanut without any good reason (P and I were talking while I was brushing my teeth and H started yelling at P to leave the bathroom because H wanted to shave and P tends to grab at his stuff...P had not done anything as of this time). When Peanut hit Hubby instead of using his words to say what he felt, Hubby didn't say anything. I reminded him that Peanut needed to "lose a box" and in order for it to be useful it had to happen right away.
Hubby had another "fit." He wanted me to take away the box. I explained to him that he had to do it because Peanut hit him. Needless to say, it didn't happen. So much for, "I'll back you up on anything you decide might help him." He should have added "...as long as it doesn't inconvenience me."
The sitter today wasn't much better. I had filled her in on the system and how it worked and why we were doing it the way we were. When I got to her house to pick up Peanut, he had only lost 2 boxes (yeah!). Both were due to hitting a little girl (who's actually older than Peanut) within a half hour of her getting back from preschool. When I told Peanut that I was proud of him for only losing two boxes, the sitter informed me that today his problem was that he was throwing stuff. Of course she had also called me at work to tell me a funny story about my son telling some lady who was coughing, "don't look at me...you're just faking." I was mortified...she laughed. She also said that her husband had been rough-housing with Peanut and Peanut had told him that he had to use "nice hands." Again...I didn't find it funny (am I losing my sense of humor?). You can't rough-house with a two, almost three-year-old child and not expect him to carry that behavior over.
Today, I'm feeling exhausted again. Not only am I trying to rid Peanut of his undesirable behaviors, but now I have to "fight" hubby and the babysitter on my method of fixing the behavior when they had both asked me to come up with a solution. If they have a better one, I am more than willing to try it. Not to mention that I am getting the feeling that no matter what I do, the sitter won't be happy. For some reason, I feel that she just doesn't want to watch Peanut anymore. When I told this to hubby and said that we should just take Peanut back to his old daycare center, he got upset with me!
I'm telling you...I just don't know how much more of this I can take before I crack.
Saturday, November 18, 2006
Breaking My Heart
They say that motherhood will break your heart (along with bringing you great joy). The last few weeks (maybe it's been longer) are proving that to be true.
Peanut is giving us a run for our money. Hubby and I are at our wits end and don't know what to do. His poor sitter is feeling the same way. If fact, she even suggested that maybe he would benefit from going some place else for two days a week or more. How's that for kindly telling you that if your child doesn't straighten up, he'll not be welcome back.
Apparently, the little darling is becoming very aggressive. It takes a lot of probing to get specifics out of her (the sitter/daycare lady), but it seems that he is hitting, kicking, banging on things, etc. He is also not listening to her. He has been going into her refrigerator and helping himself to food, not taking naps or settling down for quiet time (he's loud and bothers the other children while they are trying to sleep), and he's throwing things.
One of the problems could be blamed on hubby and I, but not all. The fact that he goes into the refrigerator...he is encouraged to wait on himself at home. We have, however, tried explaining to him that he can't do that at daycare. The other behaviors that she sees are also behaviors that we see at home.
I don't see the behaviors as much during the week as on the weekends, but then again, I don't see him as long on a weekday as I do on the weekend...the same is true for my husband...although hubby has more difficulties with Peanut than I do...usually.
Things have gotten so bad, that I went to the social worker at work yesterday and asked for her opinion. She gave me the number of a lady that works with daycare centers helping them deal with difficult children (I'm having a hard time thinking of Peanut this way but I guess he is). I will call her Monday. Unfortunately, the sw thinks that it is only for low income families so we won't qualify. This whole situation is just breaking my heart. I love this little guy so much that I don't want others to dislike being around him because of his behavior.
In the mean time, Hubby and I have come up with a plan that we hope will work. We tried it today and have already seen a decrease in hitting and kicking (although the other behaviors were still pushing us to our limits of endurance). The plan is simple. He started the morning with a paper with five boxes on it (the number was decided on after estimating how many times a day he hit or kicked and then picking a number that we felt was a reasonable goal...one he could obtain but still greatly reduced the estimated number). Each time he hit or kicked (us or anything) he would get an X in a box. If all of the boxes got X'ed out, then he would loose television privledges. He doesn't watch a lot of t.v. (more than he should...he shouldn't watch any, but not as much as other children), but there are 3-4 movies he likes to watch. Please know when I say "watch" I mean he'll sit for a bit, then he'll play while the t.v. plays in the background (he'll stop periodically to sing the songs in the movies). He LOVES his t.v. time (all shows/movies are non-violent/aggressive).
Today, he managed to only get three boxes X'ed out and was able to have all of his t.v. time. We'll try it again tomorrow and plan on continuing it for the entire week. After one week, if it seems to be working, we'll drop the number of boxes to 4, etc. If it's not working, then back to the drawing board we'll go. In the mean time, we are struggling to deal with the other behaviors. Today, he didn't want to take a nap (or have quiet time) so he ended up pulling the football off of his lamp. While I was not happy (a huge understatement) about it, it can be fixed relatively easily. I can also guess that he wanted to play with the football and because this is an actual toy football adhered to the lamp base (along with a minature basketball, soccer ball, and baseball) he thought he could use that one. The consequences were that his lamp was taken away (he loved the lamp).
Later, he kept throwing a ball in the house (that's against the rules). The consequence of that was that ALL of his balls (baseball pillow, football pillow, football, kick ball, etc.) were taken away for a week. The other "infractions" he commited were dealt with by spending time in time out. Our hope is that there will be a decrease in the aggressive behavior and then we can move on and focus on other behaviors.
While we are dealing with the behaviors we are trying to figure out WHY they are occuring. Are they related to his age? A stage? Is he seeking attention ("yes" with some, "no" with others)? Is it impulsivity? Is the impulsivity related to diet? To the fact that his birth father was addicted to crack when Peanut was conceived? Does he have ADHD? ( I have suspected this from the time he was an infant and had to be swaddled in order to sleep, then later he would...and still does to some extent..."spin" in his bed. The ADHD, even though it is a very real probability, will be the last thing we will look at. Not because we don't believe it to be true (it's probably the one thing we do think is true), but because I don't believe in putting a child on medication at this young of age (2 years 10 months) for ADHD unless things are really bad. At any age, I think all of the other strategies need to be tried first. I believe in medicating children if needed (I wouldn't deny him meds for his asthma, but I still try to control his exposure to the things/situations that cause it to flair up), but after other less drastic measures have been tried.
Well, it's getting late and I need to be up in the a.m. If anyone has any suggestions I'd love to hear them (that's if anyone were to actually stop by and read this blog).
Until later...
Peanut is giving us a run for our money. Hubby and I are at our wits end and don't know what to do. His poor sitter is feeling the same way. If fact, she even suggested that maybe he would benefit from going some place else for two days a week or more. How's that for kindly telling you that if your child doesn't straighten up, he'll not be welcome back.
Apparently, the little darling is becoming very aggressive. It takes a lot of probing to get specifics out of her (the sitter/daycare lady), but it seems that he is hitting, kicking, banging on things, etc. He is also not listening to her. He has been going into her refrigerator and helping himself to food, not taking naps or settling down for quiet time (he's loud and bothers the other children while they are trying to sleep), and he's throwing things.
One of the problems could be blamed on hubby and I, but not all. The fact that he goes into the refrigerator...he is encouraged to wait on himself at home. We have, however, tried explaining to him that he can't do that at daycare. The other behaviors that she sees are also behaviors that we see at home.
I don't see the behaviors as much during the week as on the weekends, but then again, I don't see him as long on a weekday as I do on the weekend...the same is true for my husband...although hubby has more difficulties with Peanut than I do...usually.
Things have gotten so bad, that I went to the social worker at work yesterday and asked for her opinion. She gave me the number of a lady that works with daycare centers helping them deal with difficult children (I'm having a hard time thinking of Peanut this way but I guess he is). I will call her Monday. Unfortunately, the sw thinks that it is only for low income families so we won't qualify. This whole situation is just breaking my heart. I love this little guy so much that I don't want others to dislike being around him because of his behavior.
In the mean time, Hubby and I have come up with a plan that we hope will work. We tried it today and have already seen a decrease in hitting and kicking (although the other behaviors were still pushing us to our limits of endurance). The plan is simple. He started the morning with a paper with five boxes on it (the number was decided on after estimating how many times a day he hit or kicked and then picking a number that we felt was a reasonable goal...one he could obtain but still greatly reduced the estimated number). Each time he hit or kicked (us or anything) he would get an X in a box. If all of the boxes got X'ed out, then he would loose television privledges. He doesn't watch a lot of t.v. (more than he should...he shouldn't watch any, but not as much as other children), but there are 3-4 movies he likes to watch. Please know when I say "watch" I mean he'll sit for a bit, then he'll play while the t.v. plays in the background (he'll stop periodically to sing the songs in the movies). He LOVES his t.v. time (all shows/movies are non-violent/aggressive).
Today, he managed to only get three boxes X'ed out and was able to have all of his t.v. time. We'll try it again tomorrow and plan on continuing it for the entire week. After one week, if it seems to be working, we'll drop the number of boxes to 4, etc. If it's not working, then back to the drawing board we'll go. In the mean time, we are struggling to deal with the other behaviors. Today, he didn't want to take a nap (or have quiet time) so he ended up pulling the football off of his lamp. While I was not happy (a huge understatement) about it, it can be fixed relatively easily. I can also guess that he wanted to play with the football and because this is an actual toy football adhered to the lamp base (along with a minature basketball, soccer ball, and baseball) he thought he could use that one. The consequences were that his lamp was taken away (he loved the lamp).
Later, he kept throwing a ball in the house (that's against the rules). The consequence of that was that ALL of his balls (baseball pillow, football pillow, football, kick ball, etc.) were taken away for a week. The other "infractions" he commited were dealt with by spending time in time out. Our hope is that there will be a decrease in the aggressive behavior and then we can move on and focus on other behaviors.
While we are dealing with the behaviors we are trying to figure out WHY they are occuring. Are they related to his age? A stage? Is he seeking attention ("yes" with some, "no" with others)? Is it impulsivity? Is the impulsivity related to diet? To the fact that his birth father was addicted to crack when Peanut was conceived? Does he have ADHD? ( I have suspected this from the time he was an infant and had to be swaddled in order to sleep, then later he would...and still does to some extent..."spin" in his bed. The ADHD, even though it is a very real probability, will be the last thing we will look at. Not because we don't believe it to be true (it's probably the one thing we do think is true), but because I don't believe in putting a child on medication at this young of age (2 years 10 months) for ADHD unless things are really bad. At any age, I think all of the other strategies need to be tried first. I believe in medicating children if needed (I wouldn't deny him meds for his asthma, but I still try to control his exposure to the things/situations that cause it to flair up), but after other less drastic measures have been tried.
Well, it's getting late and I need to be up in the a.m. If anyone has any suggestions I'd love to hear them (that's if anyone were to actually stop by and read this blog).
Until later...
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Breast Story
Have you ever had a Dr. make you feel stupid or foolish? It happened (not for the first time) to me today.
For the past month I've had a lump in my left breast. I didn't do anything about it, because I wanted to make sure it wasn't a pimple or ingrown hair or a swollen lymph node. For the last week, I've been debating about what to do. I talked to a friend and she convinced me to call the Dr. to have it checked.
I called and was able to get in to see the Dr. this afternoon. I had told the nurse/receptionist that it was probably nothing and I was over-reacting. When the doctor came in to the room, I told her the same thing. She said that it was fine and better to check it out then let it go. When she examined me she said (not kindly), "It looks like a pimple or hair." Ok. I had just told her that it might be one of those two items. Instead of stopping there, she went on. "Weren't you just in here in January?" (It's now November.) "I would have said if I'd have found something wrong." (Thought these things could just appear...didn't know that it took a certain amount of time to grow.)
So, anyway...on she went. In the five minutes it took for her to examine me, she found nothing wrong and took me from 5'6" to 1" tall. If she just would have changed her tone of voice...I might not have felt so bad.
Despite the fact that she said (although her tone of voice and mannerisms indicated otherwise) it was better to have it check than not, I will probably wait longer if I ever find a lump in my breast again.
In the mean time, I will enjoy knowing the I'm healthy.
For the past month I've had a lump in my left breast. I didn't do anything about it, because I wanted to make sure it wasn't a pimple or ingrown hair or a swollen lymph node. For the last week, I've been debating about what to do. I talked to a friend and she convinced me to call the Dr. to have it checked.
I called and was able to get in to see the Dr. this afternoon. I had told the nurse/receptionist that it was probably nothing and I was over-reacting. When the doctor came in to the room, I told her the same thing. She said that it was fine and better to check it out then let it go. When she examined me she said (not kindly), "It looks like a pimple or hair." Ok. I had just told her that it might be one of those two items. Instead of stopping there, she went on. "Weren't you just in here in January?" (It's now November.) "I would have said if I'd have found something wrong." (Thought these things could just appear...didn't know that it took a certain amount of time to grow.)
So, anyway...on she went. In the five minutes it took for her to examine me, she found nothing wrong and took me from 5'6" to 1" tall. If she just would have changed her tone of voice...I might not have felt so bad.
Despite the fact that she said (although her tone of voice and mannerisms indicated otherwise) it was better to have it check than not, I will probably wait longer if I ever find a lump in my breast again.
In the mean time, I will enjoy knowing the I'm healthy.
Saturday, November 04, 2006
Question
What is it about our children that makes us question everything about ourselves? Of course, it's possible that I'm the only one that feels that way, but I can't truly believe that I am.
I am a preschool special education teacher (currently) that has also worked with students in grades K-6. I have worked with students with a wide range of disabilities ranging from autism to learning disabilities to emotional impairments to moderate cognitive impairments to mild speech delays. I am a good teacher. Parents frequently request that their child is placed in my classroom. I am frequently given the students with behavior problems and students labeled as "tough to teach." My classes fill up before any of the other teachers. I may not always feel like it, but I know that I am a good teacher.
So, how is it that I feel that I am a sub-par mom? My son is 2 years 10 months old...just a bit younger than my youngest student. I use the same methods to disipline my child as I do my students. I am consistent and fairly structured...yet flexible (yes, you can be both). On paper, I do everything right. In reality, I'm doing something wrong...somewhere.
My child is aggressive (spitting, hitting, kicking), back talks, and doesn't follow directions. I know that some of these behaviors are typical for his age, but I think he displays these characters more than most of the others his age. Other people say he doesn't.
So...while I continue to do the best I can...I am constantly second guessing myself. I love this kid so much and I just don't want to screw up with him.
Is this normal???
I am a preschool special education teacher (currently) that has also worked with students in grades K-6. I have worked with students with a wide range of disabilities ranging from autism to learning disabilities to emotional impairments to moderate cognitive impairments to mild speech delays. I am a good teacher. Parents frequently request that their child is placed in my classroom. I am frequently given the students with behavior problems and students labeled as "tough to teach." My classes fill up before any of the other teachers. I may not always feel like it, but I know that I am a good teacher.
So, how is it that I feel that I am a sub-par mom? My son is 2 years 10 months old...just a bit younger than my youngest student. I use the same methods to disipline my child as I do my students. I am consistent and fairly structured...yet flexible (yes, you can be both). On paper, I do everything right. In reality, I'm doing something wrong...somewhere.
My child is aggressive (spitting, hitting, kicking), back talks, and doesn't follow directions. I know that some of these behaviors are typical for his age, but I think he displays these characters more than most of the others his age. Other people say he doesn't.
So...while I continue to do the best I can...I am constantly second guessing myself. I love this kid so much and I just don't want to screw up with him.
Is this normal???
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Sarah's Story
Well, I made it through today. Actually, I'm pretty impressed with myself. This is the first time in 7 years that I have worked on Oct. 17.
Today was Sarah's 6th birthday. Sarah is my youngest daughter...Emily's twin. Sarah's story is nowhere near as horrible as Emily's, but Sarah's death is the one that has plagued me with guilt for the longest.
I know that Sarah's death was technically not my fault, but between my body not functioning correctly (at least in my eyes) and decisions I (and my husband) made I can't completely shake my guilt.
After Emily was born, the doctor's warned me that the two placenta's had been fused together so I was unable to deliver Emily's placenta. Because of this, I was at a very high risk for developing infection. Of course, after they told me this, they tried to send me home. Needless to say, I was not budging. I worked at it really hard, but I was able to convince them to keep me in the hospital until I gave birth or that if I were to go into labor the baby would not be in danger (was looking forward to...not really...spending a couple of months in the hospital).
Unfortunately, the doctors were right. I did develop an infection (although it took longer than they thought). I don't remember is medicine was used to help me fight it, but I do remember that there came a point when the doctor's were saying that they were going to have to induce labor. Again, I fought for more time. I was doing o.k. Unfortunately, it got to the point where the infection apparentenly was putting my life in danger (so said the docs.). I was told that they were going to induce labor...I tried to refuse but my parents and husband went nuts.
Once they decided they were going to induce labor, they told me that I had to decide if I wanted to put the baby on machines to keep it alive. My personal stance has always been that if I were dying, I would not want to be kept alive by machines. I remember my grandmother having stroke after stroke and machines being used to help her and all she did when she was awake was beg everyone to let her die. I also spent some of my early teaching career with severely disabled students. Students who where unable to communicate, take care of themselves, move, and appeared to have diminished mental capacity. The doctors also shared the researched (that I already knew) that the chance of Sarah surviving were less than .28%. The likely hood of her surviving and leading a normal (and normal included most likely learning and physical handicaps) were even less.I decided (with my husband's and family support) that we would not use machines. We would let her do what she could on her own.
I'll skip the whole "giving birth" section of the story...even if it is the funniest part of this whole ordeal. So, the doctor's induced labor (not pleasant).
Sarah was born weighing a smidge over a pound. She never cried. However, her little heart was pumping away. I was heavily drugged or I would have changed my mine most likely at this point. But I didn't.
We held Sarah for the hour (or a bit more) that she fought for her life. When I think of her I think of her heart...beating...and beating...and beating. And this is where my guilt comes in. What if...
What if is a horrible game that we play with ourselves. What if...I had refused to induce labor? What if...I said I wanted to try to keep her alive? What if...?
One of the first I clearly remember after coming home from the hospital was watching an episode of "ER". The main patient in the story was a woman that gave birth to a baby that was just as early as my daughters. The baby died...then came back to life. I about blew a nut. I remember sobbing and being so angry...at the writers and at myself. More what if's. I do believe that the baby eventually died at the end of the story. The worst part? It was how happy and relieved I felt when the baby died...a new all time low for me.
Well, I have survived. Adopting my son has made it somewhat easier. It has also brought me new issues of guilt. When I go to visit the grave on their birthdays, I always feel bad for missing them so much. If they would have lived, I wouldn't have my beautiful, wonderful son. Wishing that they would have lived makes me feel like I'm betraying my son.
I work through my guilt and grief on an almost daily basis...which is a step up from and hourly and minutely basis. It is an ongoing process. I don't tell myself that one day I will be free of the guilt because I doubt it's true. However, I do everything I can think of to try to squash the feelings of guilt. I do okay most of the time.
Thank you for letting me share my story with you. Talking/writing about what happened has done the most for me. People are not always comfortable with me sharing, but I've gotten to the point where I think, "too bad." Maybe one day I'll be able to answer "How many children do you have?" without hesitating...torn between wanting to say "three" and saying "one."
Until next time...
Today was Sarah's 6th birthday. Sarah is my youngest daughter...Emily's twin. Sarah's story is nowhere near as horrible as Emily's, but Sarah's death is the one that has plagued me with guilt for the longest.
I know that Sarah's death was technically not my fault, but between my body not functioning correctly (at least in my eyes) and decisions I (and my husband) made I can't completely shake my guilt.
After Emily was born, the doctor's warned me that the two placenta's had been fused together so I was unable to deliver Emily's placenta. Because of this, I was at a very high risk for developing infection. Of course, after they told me this, they tried to send me home. Needless to say, I was not budging. I worked at it really hard, but I was able to convince them to keep me in the hospital until I gave birth or that if I were to go into labor the baby would not be in danger (was looking forward to...not really...spending a couple of months in the hospital).
Unfortunately, the doctors were right. I did develop an infection (although it took longer than they thought). I don't remember is medicine was used to help me fight it, but I do remember that there came a point when the doctor's were saying that they were going to have to induce labor. Again, I fought for more time. I was doing o.k. Unfortunately, it got to the point where the infection apparentenly was putting my life in danger (so said the docs.). I was told that they were going to induce labor...I tried to refuse but my parents and husband went nuts.
Once they decided they were going to induce labor, they told me that I had to decide if I wanted to put the baby on machines to keep it alive. My personal stance has always been that if I were dying, I would not want to be kept alive by machines. I remember my grandmother having stroke after stroke and machines being used to help her and all she did when she was awake was beg everyone to let her die. I also spent some of my early teaching career with severely disabled students. Students who where unable to communicate, take care of themselves, move, and appeared to have diminished mental capacity. The doctors also shared the researched (that I already knew) that the chance of Sarah surviving were less than .28%. The likely hood of her surviving and leading a normal (and normal included most likely learning and physical handicaps) were even less.I decided (with my husband's and family support) that we would not use machines. We would let her do what she could on her own.
I'll skip the whole "giving birth" section of the story...even if it is the funniest part of this whole ordeal. So, the doctor's induced labor (not pleasant).
Sarah was born weighing a smidge over a pound. She never cried. However, her little heart was pumping away. I was heavily drugged or I would have changed my mine most likely at this point. But I didn't.
We held Sarah for the hour (or a bit more) that she fought for her life. When I think of her I think of her heart...beating...and beating...and beating. And this is where my guilt comes in. What if...
What if is a horrible game that we play with ourselves. What if...I had refused to induce labor? What if...I said I wanted to try to keep her alive? What if...?
One of the first I clearly remember after coming home from the hospital was watching an episode of "ER". The main patient in the story was a woman that gave birth to a baby that was just as early as my daughters. The baby died...then came back to life. I about blew a nut. I remember sobbing and being so angry...at the writers and at myself. More what if's. I do believe that the baby eventually died at the end of the story. The worst part? It was how happy and relieved I felt when the baby died...a new all time low for me.
Well, I have survived. Adopting my son has made it somewhat easier. It has also brought me new issues of guilt. When I go to visit the grave on their birthdays, I always feel bad for missing them so much. If they would have lived, I wouldn't have my beautiful, wonderful son. Wishing that they would have lived makes me feel like I'm betraying my son.
I work through my guilt and grief on an almost daily basis...which is a step up from and hourly and minutely basis. It is an ongoing process. I don't tell myself that one day I will be free of the guilt because I doubt it's true. However, I do everything I can think of to try to squash the feelings of guilt. I do okay most of the time.
Thank you for letting me share my story with you. Talking/writing about what happened has done the most for me. People are not always comfortable with me sharing, but I've gotten to the point where I think, "too bad." Maybe one day I'll be able to answer "How many children do you have?" without hesitating...torn between wanting to say "three" and saying "one."
Until next time...
Sunday, October 15, 2006
Cleaning
This weekend was supposed to be "my" weekend. My weekend to myself to do what I want when I want to. I had a list of things I wanted to do: watch some movies; read; CLEAN!
Don't get me wrong, I HATE cleaning. Which is why I need to do it. Really...how long does it take a person to clean their closet and bedroom...throughly? I would guess the normal person would take a couple of hours max. But not me. Nope. It took me FOUR WEEKS to clean my closet. Ladies and gents...my house was built in the '30's therefore the closets are incredibly small. 4 weeks to clean a small closet is insane. I ended up getting rid of 6 boxes of clothes (how did those even fit into my closet)!
Now, two months later I'm still trying to clean my room. Ugh!!! I have got to be the world's biggest slob. The rest of my house is a disaster also. Everything is a mess and I can't seem to keep up...or for that matter...get started!!
Anyway, I did not get my list done. I have been sick. No work on Friday due to a doctor's appointment (for something not relating to my illness). I came home from the doctor's and made homemade chicken noodle soup...yummy...read a book and watched a movie. Yesterday was a complete waste. More movies...more reading...sleeping (something I desperately needed to do, but hate wasting the time doing). Today has been a bit better. I've gotten rid on almost all of my jewelry (apparently I haven't bought any jewelry since the 80's.); done 2 loads of laundry; read; watched a movie; and cleaned off one dresser. I try not to think about what I have left to do. Its too overwhelming.
Well, I guess this is enough procrastinating. Hubby and Peanut will be home soon. I really need to get more work done.
Until next time...
Don't get me wrong, I HATE cleaning. Which is why I need to do it. Really...how long does it take a person to clean their closet and bedroom...throughly? I would guess the normal person would take a couple of hours max. But not me. Nope. It took me FOUR WEEKS to clean my closet. Ladies and gents...my house was built in the '30's therefore the closets are incredibly small. 4 weeks to clean a small closet is insane. I ended up getting rid of 6 boxes of clothes (how did those even fit into my closet)!
Now, two months later I'm still trying to clean my room. Ugh!!! I have got to be the world's biggest slob. The rest of my house is a disaster also. Everything is a mess and I can't seem to keep up...or for that matter...get started!!
Anyway, I did not get my list done. I have been sick. No work on Friday due to a doctor's appointment (for something not relating to my illness). I came home from the doctor's and made homemade chicken noodle soup...yummy...read a book and watched a movie. Yesterday was a complete waste. More movies...more reading...sleeping (something I desperately needed to do, but hate wasting the time doing). Today has been a bit better. I've gotten rid on almost all of my jewelry (apparently I haven't bought any jewelry since the 80's.); done 2 loads of laundry; read; watched a movie; and cleaned off one dresser. I try not to think about what I have left to do. Its too overwhelming.
Well, I guess this is enough procrastinating. Hubby and Peanut will be home soon. I really need to get more work done.
Until next time...
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Emily's Story
I know that this is something that most people won't want to read, but since there isn't a lot of people reading this blog anyway it doesn't matter.
On October 5 or 6th of 2000, I was home alone. I know it sounds silly not to know the exact date, but so much of this time is hazy that dates are not easy to recall. Anyway, my husband was working late and I had spent the day at a conference for work. I had been talking on the phone to a friend while I was laying down...my back had really been hurting me. To help with the pain, I made a warming sock and used it to help ease the pain. After talking to my friend I felt the urge to use the bathroom, so I did. When I went to the bathroom, I felt a rush of warm water and it wasn't urine. It didn't come from that area. I immediately knew that my water had broke.
After a couple of seconds of calming myself down and working up the nerve, I decided to check (I'm not sure for what). That is when I saw the blood. Lots of blood. And the panic kicked in. I grabbed the phone and called my doctor. My doctor was not on call that night so I talked to the one that was. He kept asking me if I was sure if my water had broke and I kept saying yes and explained why (I don't think he liked it, but he kept implying that he didn't believe me). Eventually, he told me to go to the closest emergency room.
I live an hour away from my closest relative and am nearly that far from my husband's work place. So, because I was shaking so bad, I called a couple of co-workers/friends. No one was home. Next, I called my aunt that lives near my parents and asked to talked to my uncle (which up to that point I had never done...asked to talk to him). I explained to him (I was afraid that my aunt would flip out) what was going on and asked him to go tell my mom and dad (I KNEW my mom would flip). So he did. I obviously was going to either have to call 911 or drive myself. I didn't want my neighbors seeing me being put into an ambulance, so I drove myself. Once I got behind the wheel, an eerie calm came over me and I drove without crying or panic or flipping out to the hospital. At one point, I was behind an ambulance and thought of trying to stop them (or follow them into the Wendy's they eventually pulled into), but decided that I was almost to the hospital and it would be silly. I finally reached my husband on his cell phone and filled him in. He said he wasn't sure if he could leave but he'd try to get to the hospital as soon as possible.
Once I got to the hospital, I thought about pulling into the emergency entrance, but didn't want to over react, so I found the closest parking spot (to where I already was) and parked my car. I ended up walking up quite a way to the emergency entrance. The emergency room was quite full, but as soon as I told them I was in premature labor they grabbed a wheel chair got me out of there.
The poor man that wheeled me up to the labor and delivery floor was trying to be kind and was asking questions: was this my first, did I know if it was a boy or a girl (I explained I was expecting twins but didn't know the sex), etc. Then he asked if I was excited. I tried to be as kind as possible and said, "No. I'm not due until the 1st part of February." The man apologized profusely and didn't say word the rest of the time.
Trying to shorten the story, I paraphrase here. The hospital (and my doctor who met me at the hospital shortly after I got there) transferred me to another hospital in the area. The "new" hospital had a very good neonatal unit (I think someone tried to explain something about levels to me, but I wasn't really listening). I don't remember the whole thing, but I do remember joking with the ambulance guys when they said something about the elevator being broke and possibly taking me down the stairs. My suggestion was that they just warn me and give me a good push and I meet them at the bottom. They laughed and found a working elevator.
At the new hospital, I don't remember the 1st night. I think my mom ended up spending the night (everyone had met me at the 1st hospital in record time). The second night I sent everyone home. At some point during the night/early morning (again I can't remember although the birth certificate would tell me) I felt an urge to use the bathroom so I called a nurse. The nurse helped me into the bathroom and left me alone (after she showed me the call button and made sure that I was ok).
That was a mistake. I started to use the bathroom, but knew right away that something was majorly wrong. Once again, something had come out of the wrong spot. I blanked out my mind. It truly is amazing how a person can block thoughts. I pushed the call button and in an amazingly calm, conversational voice I asked for my nurse. My nurse was there in a heart beat. I told her that I thought that I had just had a baby. She looked at me as though I was nuts and asked what I meant (panic was creeping into her voice as she finished the question). I calmly told her that I thought that I had my baby and it was in the toilet. She went over the edge. She ran out of my room hollering for help, ran back in and asked me if it were alive. I told her that I had been afraid to look. She was not happy (she didn't want to look either I guess). The baby was there.
Without all of the details, she got me to the bed and help arrived. The baby was dead. Someone asked if I wanted them to call my husband. I asked them to call my parents and have them go get my husband. Then they wanted to know if I wanted to see my baby. At first I said no...I was afraid it might be deformed...don't ask how. The nurse reassured me that it looked like a baby. When I saw my little girl, I cried. I kept saying how beautiful she was (if you've ever seen a very premature baby...you know they aren't beautiful...except to possibly their parents).
When my parents and husband arrived, the baby had been taken away or put in an incubator for my family to see (don't remember). I do remember crying and saying how sorry I was. They had no idea what was going on. Apparently, I had asked the nurse calling them not to say anything (like a woman who's just given birth to their baby in a toilet bowl is mentally competent to make ANY decisions), so I had to tell them the news and explain what had happened.
I have to say...nurses and doctors sure know how to make you feel stupid. Didn't I know I was in labor? Couldn't I tell the difference between labor pains and having to go to the bathroom? You get the picture. It's taken six years to forgive myself for not knowing. It took a while before I'd use a bathroom also...especially since I was still carrying another baby.
That night was the last night I cried for 10 days. No one was allowed in my room if they were crying. I was terrified that if I started, I'd never stop...or that I'd cause myself to go into labor and lose the remaining baby...or the baby would...the list goes on.
Well, that is Emily's story. I think I'll stop for today. I will save Sarah's story for another day.
.
On October 5 or 6th of 2000, I was home alone. I know it sounds silly not to know the exact date, but so much of this time is hazy that dates are not easy to recall. Anyway, my husband was working late and I had spent the day at a conference for work. I had been talking on the phone to a friend while I was laying down...my back had really been hurting me. To help with the pain, I made a warming sock and used it to help ease the pain. After talking to my friend I felt the urge to use the bathroom, so I did. When I went to the bathroom, I felt a rush of warm water and it wasn't urine. It didn't come from that area. I immediately knew that my water had broke.
After a couple of seconds of calming myself down and working up the nerve, I decided to check (I'm not sure for what). That is when I saw the blood. Lots of blood. And the panic kicked in. I grabbed the phone and called my doctor. My doctor was not on call that night so I talked to the one that was. He kept asking me if I was sure if my water had broke and I kept saying yes and explained why (I don't think he liked it, but he kept implying that he didn't believe me). Eventually, he told me to go to the closest emergency room.
I live an hour away from my closest relative and am nearly that far from my husband's work place. So, because I was shaking so bad, I called a couple of co-workers/friends. No one was home. Next, I called my aunt that lives near my parents and asked to talked to my uncle (which up to that point I had never done...asked to talk to him). I explained to him (I was afraid that my aunt would flip out) what was going on and asked him to go tell my mom and dad (I KNEW my mom would flip). So he did. I obviously was going to either have to call 911 or drive myself. I didn't want my neighbors seeing me being put into an ambulance, so I drove myself. Once I got behind the wheel, an eerie calm came over me and I drove without crying or panic or flipping out to the hospital. At one point, I was behind an ambulance and thought of trying to stop them (or follow them into the Wendy's they eventually pulled into), but decided that I was almost to the hospital and it would be silly. I finally reached my husband on his cell phone and filled him in. He said he wasn't sure if he could leave but he'd try to get to the hospital as soon as possible.
Once I got to the hospital, I thought about pulling into the emergency entrance, but didn't want to over react, so I found the closest parking spot (to where I already was) and parked my car. I ended up walking up quite a way to the emergency entrance. The emergency room was quite full, but as soon as I told them I was in premature labor they grabbed a wheel chair got me out of there.
The poor man that wheeled me up to the labor and delivery floor was trying to be kind and was asking questions: was this my first, did I know if it was a boy or a girl (I explained I was expecting twins but didn't know the sex), etc. Then he asked if I was excited. I tried to be as kind as possible and said, "No. I'm not due until the 1st part of February." The man apologized profusely and didn't say word the rest of the time.
Trying to shorten the story, I paraphrase here. The hospital (and my doctor who met me at the hospital shortly after I got there) transferred me to another hospital in the area. The "new" hospital had a very good neonatal unit (I think someone tried to explain something about levels to me, but I wasn't really listening). I don't remember the whole thing, but I do remember joking with the ambulance guys when they said something about the elevator being broke and possibly taking me down the stairs. My suggestion was that they just warn me and give me a good push and I meet them at the bottom. They laughed and found a working elevator.
At the new hospital, I don't remember the 1st night. I think my mom ended up spending the night (everyone had met me at the 1st hospital in record time). The second night I sent everyone home. At some point during the night/early morning (again I can't remember although the birth certificate would tell me) I felt an urge to use the bathroom so I called a nurse. The nurse helped me into the bathroom and left me alone (after she showed me the call button and made sure that I was ok).
That was a mistake. I started to use the bathroom, but knew right away that something was majorly wrong. Once again, something had come out of the wrong spot. I blanked out my mind. It truly is amazing how a person can block thoughts. I pushed the call button and in an amazingly calm, conversational voice I asked for my nurse. My nurse was there in a heart beat. I told her that I thought that I had just had a baby. She looked at me as though I was nuts and asked what I meant (panic was creeping into her voice as she finished the question). I calmly told her that I thought that I had my baby and it was in the toilet. She went over the edge. She ran out of my room hollering for help, ran back in and asked me if it were alive. I told her that I had been afraid to look. She was not happy (she didn't want to look either I guess). The baby was there.
Without all of the details, she got me to the bed and help arrived. The baby was dead. Someone asked if I wanted them to call my husband. I asked them to call my parents and have them go get my husband. Then they wanted to know if I wanted to see my baby. At first I said no...I was afraid it might be deformed...don't ask how. The nurse reassured me that it looked like a baby. When I saw my little girl, I cried. I kept saying how beautiful she was (if you've ever seen a very premature baby...you know they aren't beautiful...except to possibly their parents).
When my parents and husband arrived, the baby had been taken away or put in an incubator for my family to see (don't remember). I do remember crying and saying how sorry I was. They had no idea what was going on. Apparently, I had asked the nurse calling them not to say anything (like a woman who's just given birth to their baby in a toilet bowl is mentally competent to make ANY decisions), so I had to tell them the news and explain what had happened.
I have to say...nurses and doctors sure know how to make you feel stupid. Didn't I know I was in labor? Couldn't I tell the difference between labor pains and having to go to the bathroom? You get the picture. It's taken six years to forgive myself for not knowing. It took a while before I'd use a bathroom also...especially since I was still carrying another baby.
That night was the last night I cried for 10 days. No one was allowed in my room if they were crying. I was terrified that if I started, I'd never stop...or that I'd cause myself to go into labor and lose the remaining baby...or the baby would...the list goes on.
Well, that is Emily's story. I think I'll stop for today. I will save Sarah's story for another day.
.
Monday, October 09, 2006
Emotional Roller Coaster
***Beware: This is a LONG post.
Wow!! It's only Monday, but it has already been an emotional roller coaster of a week.
October is always a very difficult month for me. I usually take a weekend and go away by myself. It saves my sanity, my husband's sanity, and probably my marriage. Six years ago I lost twin girls due to prematurity. Emily, the oldest one would have turned six this past Saturday (the 7th). Sarah's birthday is the 17th. (One day, I hope to be able to write in this blog about it...my goal is to do it this month)
It still is very difficult, but as many others know that have lost loved ones, you eventually discover a new normal. You always hurt. They are always in the back of your mind...if not directly in front...but you learn to live with it. Maybe like a toothache (that's putting it mildly). I still miss them desperately, but also feel guilty for feeling that way because if they had lived I wouldn't have adopted my son. It can become a vicious cycle...one I try not to think about.
Anyway, that was the down part of the week (I know it was technically last week...but let it go). The up part happened today and I am still reeling, although not nearly as much as I had been.
Today I was leaving the school with my students to go on a field trip to the apple orchard. I had just exited the building and was walking down the sidewalk behind my class when I heard someone call my first name. Everyone at work (staff and parents) calls me by my last name when the kids are around (not necessarily with Mrs.) so I couldn't figure out who was calling my name. I looked around and saw a lady walking up another sidewalk and thought "she looks familiar but who is she?" Then she yelled out, "It's K..!" I still didn't get who it was. Then I saw a young boy with her and thought "that looks like N.." It was! The lady yelling my name was my son's birth mom with Peanut's sister and brother!
To say I went nuts is probably an understatement. I was so happy to see her. The first I blurted out was, "Where have you been?" Then I quickly kept talking. I kept hugging her and her kids. They probably wondered who the crazy lady was. But I couldn't help myself. I hadn't heard from Peanut's birth mom since his 1st birthday. She called to ask about him and said she had gifts for him, but then she disappeared. I knew that at one point she had been in a bad relationship and was worried that something had happened. I had even wanted to take an ad out in the local paper in order to contact her. My family and the adoption specialists that we still kept in contact with convinced me not to...she'd come back when and if she was ready.
I now feel like a heavy weight was lifted off my shoulders. A weight that I didn't even know I was carrying around!
Oh! You might be wondering what she was doing at my school. I asked her. She was enrolling her daughter in our Be-Four program. Her son had just been enrolled in the school I used to teach in. I let her know that I had switched schools...so she wouldn't be surprised. I also asked her to stop by and see me when she was up to it/ready.
I don't know yet if there will be any visits on her part to see Peanut or what the future holds. I do know that I am incredibly thankful that she is ok.
Someone that I work with asked me how I could be happy that she was back...especially since she obviously hadn't wanted him in the first place. She, and the others I work with now, just don't get it. First, and MOST IMPORTANTLY, I believe with every fiber of my being that K and Peanut's birth father didn't want to place him for adoption. If there would have been any way that they could have supported him they would have. However, they were in a place in their lives where that was not a possibility. Selfishly, I am thankful. It meant that I now have the most beautiful (and dare I say "perfect") son anyone could every wish for.
Secondly, I guess I can accept her so easily because I've never truly thought of Peanut as "just mine." Yes...he is my son, but he is also hers. When I talk about her to Peanut I sometimes refer to her as his first mommy. There is also the fact that the people in my previous school, went through the loss of my daughters with me. Some of them knew about the miscarriages that followed. They were also there for the adoption. So, in away, Peanut has always "belonged" to a large number of people. Many people feel very close to Peanut and will say to me..."So, how's my little man?" or other such statements.
Finally, I guess because I lost my daughters, that even though I have no idea what it's like to place a child for adoption, I know what its like to lose a child...which in my mind adoption is similar to. The child may not be dead, but in the eyes of the law and a lot of people, the child is no longer yours. My promise to myself was that the birth parents of my child would never have to wonder how their child was. I was going to let them know...hopefully through visits and phone calls, etc., but also for letters and other means. I also wanted it for Peanut. I can't imagine walking down the street and looking at people and thinking, "Is that the person that gave birth to me?" "Is that person my sibling?" Family is too important to me.
There is so much more I want/need to say, but I am out of time. I'll have finish later this week.
Until next time...
Wow!! It's only Monday, but it has already been an emotional roller coaster of a week.
October is always a very difficult month for me. I usually take a weekend and go away by myself. It saves my sanity, my husband's sanity, and probably my marriage. Six years ago I lost twin girls due to prematurity. Emily, the oldest one would have turned six this past Saturday (the 7th). Sarah's birthday is the 17th. (One day, I hope to be able to write in this blog about it...my goal is to do it this month)
It still is very difficult, but as many others know that have lost loved ones, you eventually discover a new normal. You always hurt. They are always in the back of your mind...if not directly in front...but you learn to live with it. Maybe like a toothache (that's putting it mildly). I still miss them desperately, but also feel guilty for feeling that way because if they had lived I wouldn't have adopted my son. It can become a vicious cycle...one I try not to think about.
Anyway, that was the down part of the week (I know it was technically last week...but let it go). The up part happened today and I am still reeling, although not nearly as much as I had been.
Today I was leaving the school with my students to go on a field trip to the apple orchard. I had just exited the building and was walking down the sidewalk behind my class when I heard someone call my first name. Everyone at work (staff and parents) calls me by my last name when the kids are around (not necessarily with Mrs.) so I couldn't figure out who was calling my name. I looked around and saw a lady walking up another sidewalk and thought "she looks familiar but who is she?" Then she yelled out, "It's K..!" I still didn't get who it was. Then I saw a young boy with her and thought "that looks like N.." It was! The lady yelling my name was my son's birth mom with Peanut's sister and brother!
To say I went nuts is probably an understatement. I was so happy to see her. The first I blurted out was, "Where have you been?" Then I quickly kept talking. I kept hugging her and her kids. They probably wondered who the crazy lady was. But I couldn't help myself. I hadn't heard from Peanut's birth mom since his 1st birthday. She called to ask about him and said she had gifts for him, but then she disappeared. I knew that at one point she had been in a bad relationship and was worried that something had happened. I had even wanted to take an ad out in the local paper in order to contact her. My family and the adoption specialists that we still kept in contact with convinced me not to...she'd come back when and if she was ready.
I now feel like a heavy weight was lifted off my shoulders. A weight that I didn't even know I was carrying around!
Oh! You might be wondering what she was doing at my school. I asked her. She was enrolling her daughter in our Be-Four program. Her son had just been enrolled in the school I used to teach in. I let her know that I had switched schools...so she wouldn't be surprised. I also asked her to stop by and see me when she was up to it/ready.
I don't know yet if there will be any visits on her part to see Peanut or what the future holds. I do know that I am incredibly thankful that she is ok.
Someone that I work with asked me how I could be happy that she was back...especially since she obviously hadn't wanted him in the first place. She, and the others I work with now, just don't get it. First, and MOST IMPORTANTLY, I believe with every fiber of my being that K and Peanut's birth father didn't want to place him for adoption. If there would have been any way that they could have supported him they would have. However, they were in a place in their lives where that was not a possibility. Selfishly, I am thankful. It meant that I now have the most beautiful (and dare I say "perfect") son anyone could every wish for.
Secondly, I guess I can accept her so easily because I've never truly thought of Peanut as "just mine." Yes...he is my son, but he is also hers. When I talk about her to Peanut I sometimes refer to her as his first mommy. There is also the fact that the people in my previous school, went through the loss of my daughters with me. Some of them knew about the miscarriages that followed. They were also there for the adoption. So, in away, Peanut has always "belonged" to a large number of people. Many people feel very close to Peanut and will say to me..."So, how's my little man?" or other such statements.
Finally, I guess because I lost my daughters, that even though I have no idea what it's like to place a child for adoption, I know what its like to lose a child...which in my mind adoption is similar to. The child may not be dead, but in the eyes of the law and a lot of people, the child is no longer yours. My promise to myself was that the birth parents of my child would never have to wonder how their child was. I was going to let them know...hopefully through visits and phone calls, etc., but also for letters and other means. I also wanted it for Peanut. I can't imagine walking down the street and looking at people and thinking, "Is that the person that gave birth to me?" "Is that person my sibling?" Family is too important to me.
There is so much more I want/need to say, but I am out of time. I'll have finish later this week.
Until next time...
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Adoption Frustration
I am so frustrated. Yesterday I emailed our case worker at our adoption agency. I wanted to make sure that she had received our updated Birth Parent letter (my husband had dropped it off last week and our last name wasn't on it). I also asked if there had been anyone looking at our profile, etc.
Well, I received a reply saying that she had received it (she thought). She thinks??? No. If you don't know, you check. You don't say, "I think." Adoption costs people a lot of money. You need to be certain you received their paperwork. The caseworker also neglected to answer the other questions I had asked. She didn't even acknowledge that I had asked her anything else.
Maybe I wouldn't be so frustrated if I didn't feel so forgotten. Before things changed at the agency, our caseworker (a wonderful woman who was forced into retirement) sent us monthly updates. She would call us and let us know what was happening with our particular case...we didn't even need to call her. I know that what our first case worker did was above and beyond what others would do. However, when we met with agency staff in July, we asked about a newsletter with updates. We stated that it didn't have to be involved, just how many babies were being placed, how many birth parents were coming in, how many still looking, etc. Information they have. We were told that a newsletter would be coming soon. Well, its approaching the end of September and still no newsletter. We had even offered to do the newsletter for them (type it, etc.).
I've always bragged about our agency. I've told people how wonderful they are. How they go above and beyond. I'm not feeling that way anymore. In fact, when our year of waiting is up and we have to update all of our paperwork and pay more money for stuff we've already paid for, I think we'll switch agencies. I am so disappointed to say that, but I doubt they'll care. They don't seem to notice us anyway.
Wish us luck. Until next time...
Well, I received a reply saying that she had received it (she thought). She thinks??? No. If you don't know, you check. You don't say, "I think." Adoption costs people a lot of money. You need to be certain you received their paperwork. The caseworker also neglected to answer the other questions I had asked. She didn't even acknowledge that I had asked her anything else.
Maybe I wouldn't be so frustrated if I didn't feel so forgotten. Before things changed at the agency, our caseworker (a wonderful woman who was forced into retirement) sent us monthly updates. She would call us and let us know what was happening with our particular case...we didn't even need to call her. I know that what our first case worker did was above and beyond what others would do. However, when we met with agency staff in July, we asked about a newsletter with updates. We stated that it didn't have to be involved, just how many babies were being placed, how many birth parents were coming in, how many still looking, etc. Information they have. We were told that a newsletter would be coming soon. Well, its approaching the end of September and still no newsletter. We had even offered to do the newsletter for them (type it, etc.).
I've always bragged about our agency. I've told people how wonderful they are. How they go above and beyond. I'm not feeling that way anymore. In fact, when our year of waiting is up and we have to update all of our paperwork and pay more money for stuff we've already paid for, I think we'll switch agencies. I am so disappointed to say that, but I doubt they'll care. They don't seem to notice us anyway.
Wish us luck. Until next time...
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
I Believe...
I received this e-mail today. It was called "I believe..." I didn't write this, but I do believe these things.
I believe... that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
I believe...that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that. You'll hurt them too.
I believe...that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. (if you work at it)
I believe...that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.
I believe...that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be. (and I'm not sure I'll ever get there)
I believe...that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It maybe the last time you see them.
I believe...that you can keep going long after you can't.
I believe...that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
I believe... that either you control your attitude or it controls you.
I believe...that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.
I believe...that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
I believe...that money is a lousy way of keeping score.
I believe...that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.
I believe...that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones to help you get back up.
I believe...that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
I believe...that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
I believe...that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.
I believe...that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself. (I believe...that forgiving yourself is harder than forgiving others.)
I believe...that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief. (This is a proven fact...in extreme cases the world may pause...but it NEVER stops.)
I believe...that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become. (Amen to that!)
I believe...that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.
I believe...that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.
I believe...that two people can look at the exact same thing and seesomething totally different.
I believe...that your life can be changed in a matter of hours (seconds) by people who don't even know you.
I believe...that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.
I believe...that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.
I believe...that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.
I believe... that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
I believe...that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that. You'll hurt them too.
I believe...that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. (if you work at it)
I believe...that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.
I believe...that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be. (and I'm not sure I'll ever get there)
I believe...that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It maybe the last time you see them.
I believe...that you can keep going long after you can't.
I believe...that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
I believe... that either you control your attitude or it controls you.
I believe...that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.
I believe...that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
I believe...that money is a lousy way of keeping score.
I believe...that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.
I believe...that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones to help you get back up.
I believe...that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
I believe...that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
I believe...that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.
I believe...that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself. (I believe...that forgiving yourself is harder than forgiving others.)
I believe...that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief. (This is a proven fact...in extreme cases the world may pause...but it NEVER stops.)
I believe...that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become. (Amen to that!)
I believe...that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.
I believe...that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.
I believe...that two people can look at the exact same thing and seesomething totally different.
I believe...that your life can be changed in a matter of hours (seconds) by people who don't even know you.
I believe...that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.
I believe...that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.
I believe...that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.
Monday, September 18, 2006
Aaahhhh...blue skies...finally! Okay, so this picture is not from today, but after days (at least is seems like it) of rain or gray skies and cold I needed to see blue skies. Of course, being the kind, generous person that I am (I can hear you laughing!!!!), I decided to share them with you...just in case you live in the same area I do and are also working on your ark.
**This picture is not from my neighborhood. It was taken in August when we took a family vacation to Columbus, OH.
Where ever you are, I hope that you wake up to a beautiful sunny day tomorrow.
G'night.
Sunday, September 17, 2006
No "Next" Button
Ok...I know in the scheme of things that this is a minor thing...but can some one please explain to me about the blogs that have no "next blog" button? How do you exit these things quickly? I end up hitting the back button and then hit the "next" button on the previous blog which thankfully takes me to a totally different blog than the one without the "next" button (a bit confusing, eh?). This always seems to happen to me when I land on a blog I REALLY don't want to be at.
Today, I was "blog browsing" and landed on one with a transvestite doing things to him/herself that I really didn't feel like looking at. I hit the "next" button. I landed on a blog with NO "next" button. So, I had to go back to the transvestite blog and hit "next." AGAIN...a blog with no button. Arrrrgh!!! This happened 4 times!!! A record. If the person on the blog I was trying to get away from, checks their stats, I'm sure they'll wonder why the same person kept leaving and coming back (especially since the "visits" were less than 10 seconds each).
Seriously, if anyone can tell me how to exit the blogs without a "next" button, I would really appreciate it. I have nothing against transvestites but if I wanted to see a person doing what this person was doing, I would just type in a web address that would take me to one of those sites.
I hope some one can help me out.
Today, I was "blog browsing" and landed on one with a transvestite doing things to him/herself that I really didn't feel like looking at. I hit the "next" button. I landed on a blog with NO "next" button. So, I had to go back to the transvestite blog and hit "next." AGAIN...a blog with no button. Arrrrgh!!! This happened 4 times!!! A record. If the person on the blog I was trying to get away from, checks their stats, I'm sure they'll wonder why the same person kept leaving and coming back (especially since the "visits" were less than 10 seconds each).
Seriously, if anyone can tell me how to exit the blogs without a "next" button, I would really appreciate it. I have nothing against transvestites but if I wanted to see a person doing what this person was doing, I would just type in a web address that would take me to one of those sites.
I hope some one can help me out.
A Bit of Humor
I wasn't planning on posting today. I had nothing really to say. Yesterday, I had a complaint and was going to post a rant. Then Christi (see previous post) popped into my head (as she's been doing a lot lately) and I felt really selfish for complaining about something so minor.
Today, however, I have a humerous incident (at least Hubby and I found it humerous) that I wanted to share.
This morning, Peanut walked into the master bedroom and got on the bed. He looked at Hubby and said, "I've got three minutes."
"Three minutes for what?" ask Hubby.
"To play on the bed," replied Peanut like he was talking to a person who has cognitive difficulties.
"Just don't jump on the bed," I told Peanut.
"I'll try not to," was the reply I received.
He's not even three and he totally cracks me up (although I try not to always let him know that).
Have a great day!
Today, however, I have a humerous incident (at least Hubby and I found it humerous) that I wanted to share.
This morning, Peanut walked into the master bedroom and got on the bed. He looked at Hubby and said, "I've got three minutes."
"Three minutes for what?" ask Hubby.
"To play on the bed," replied Peanut like he was talking to a person who has cognitive difficulties.
"Just don't jump on the bed," I told Peanut.
"I'll try not to," was the reply I received.
He's not even three and he totally cracks me up (although I try not to always let him know that).
Have a great day!
Friday, September 15, 2006
Say A Prayer for Christi
Fall is almost here and with it my yearly "break-down." October is an incredibly difficult month for me. This year I will be facing the 6 year anniversary of the death (and birth) of my daughters. Through the years, people have asked me how I've been able to handle it. My reply is almost always, "Because I had to."
About a year ago, I came across a blog about an amazing girl and her incredible family. They have made everything I have ever gone through in my life seem like a cake walk. I have been reading this blog infrequently over the past year. Recently though, I have increased my reading.
It doesn't take long for someone reading Christi's blog (www.christithomas.blogspot.com) to become absorbed in her family's trials and triumphs. If you can read Christi's blog and keep dry eyes, you are the only one. This young girl has been fighting cancer for a number of years. Amazingly, she has managed to keep a great sense of humor and an outlook that people with "easy" lives rarely have. Her family's strength and faith is something that I admire tremendously.
Earlier this week, Christi took a turn for the worse. Her parents had started to make preparations for her "Celebration of Life" (I don't remember the exact phrase but that's essentially it). I urge you to visit this site if you haven't already. Be sure to read the comments. It is absolutely amazing to me how the plight of one small girl and her family has attracted so many people (from around the world). Everyone is praying for Christi and her family. Please join those of who have never met The Thomas', but who have grown to feel close to them through reading their blog, in praying for them.
I am not a religious person, but I have faith and believe in a higher power. I am usually very private about my faith, but then again, I am rarely touched by a stranger's story as I am Christi's.
Please, check them out. Say a prayer. I'm sure you will admire them as much as the rest of us.
About a year ago, I came across a blog about an amazing girl and her incredible family. They have made everything I have ever gone through in my life seem like a cake walk. I have been reading this blog infrequently over the past year. Recently though, I have increased my reading.
It doesn't take long for someone reading Christi's blog (www.christithomas.blogspot.com) to become absorbed in her family's trials and triumphs. If you can read Christi's blog and keep dry eyes, you are the only one. This young girl has been fighting cancer for a number of years. Amazingly, she has managed to keep a great sense of humor and an outlook that people with "easy" lives rarely have. Her family's strength and faith is something that I admire tremendously.
Earlier this week, Christi took a turn for the worse. Her parents had started to make preparations for her "Celebration of Life" (I don't remember the exact phrase but that's essentially it). I urge you to visit this site if you haven't already. Be sure to read the comments. It is absolutely amazing to me how the plight of one small girl and her family has attracted so many people (from around the world). Everyone is praying for Christi and her family. Please join those of who have never met The Thomas', but who have grown to feel close to them through reading their blog, in praying for them.
I am not a religious person, but I have faith and believe in a higher power. I am usually very private about my faith, but then again, I am rarely touched by a stranger's story as I am Christi's.
Please, check them out. Say a prayer. I'm sure you will admire them as much as the rest of us.
Friday, July 28, 2006
Mean Momma!
Well, it's official. I'm mean. I've been told for years by students when they didn't get their way or didn't follow directions and they had to face the consequences that I was mean. I never gave it much thought...I knew I wasn't. My consequences always fit the "crime" and overall were milder than other teachers (mostly time-outs and conferences with me...occasionally if property distruction was involved the student would have to "clean the property" or replace it). The difference was I was usually a lot more consistent than the majority of the teachers in my building (can you tell my school had behavior issues?).
Today, I took Peanut shopping. He'd been a pistol all day. The weather here (like most of the country) has been outrageously hot and humid and he hasn't been outside except for brief amounts of time. So, I decided to take him and run to the grocery store. He's usually very good in public and this time proved to be the same. However, once we got back to the car he threw a fit. He didn't want to get into his car seat and started pitching a fit. In the process, I got hit...hard...in the face. I didn't hit back, but he was relieved of his favorite stuffed pet that goes with us everywhere and his cup (I didn't want him throwing it at me while I was driving), and was quickly buckled into his seat with a warning to behave.
On the short drive home from the store, Peanut preceeded to scream and cry. I ignored him. So, then he tried a new tactic. "Mama...you mean! You mean Mama! Mean Mama! Mean Mama!" On and on it went with a few, "I want Daddy" 's thrown in. I have to admit that I had been dreading this day, but when it happened...I was hard pressed not to laugh. He was very commical and I didn't believe him for a minute. I felt "meaner" later in the day when I made him go into the house to cool off after being outside for only a half hour.
Adoption Update
Yesterday, Hubby and I went to meet with the new employees at our agency. Our caseworker had retired quite suddenly and the birth mother counselor is always changing (they seem to get pregnant and end up staying at home with their children). So, we went in so that we could all get to know each other.
To be honest, up until today, I had been feeling "abandoned." Our previous caseworker had sent out monthly newletters, had called us, and kept in close contact with us. We hadn't heard anything from the agency since the changes took place in May. We let them know how we felt (very nicely) and offered suggestions as to help keep in touch with people. We even offered to help with a newsletter. By the end of the meeting, we felt a lot better. We also left with the knowledge that currently all of the birth mothers had chosen parents. That news was a bit disheartening, but I know it will happen when it should and our wait hasn't been that long (just a couple of months).
Until next time...
Please excuse any spelling errors, etc. My spellcheck is being blocked by some other program.
Today, I took Peanut shopping. He'd been a pistol all day. The weather here (like most of the country) has been outrageously hot and humid and he hasn't been outside except for brief amounts of time. So, I decided to take him and run to the grocery store. He's usually very good in public and this time proved to be the same. However, once we got back to the car he threw a fit. He didn't want to get into his car seat and started pitching a fit. In the process, I got hit...hard...in the face. I didn't hit back, but he was relieved of his favorite stuffed pet that goes with us everywhere and his cup (I didn't want him throwing it at me while I was driving), and was quickly buckled into his seat with a warning to behave.
On the short drive home from the store, Peanut preceeded to scream and cry. I ignored him. So, then he tried a new tactic. "Mama...you mean! You mean Mama! Mean Mama! Mean Mama!" On and on it went with a few, "I want Daddy" 's thrown in. I have to admit that I had been dreading this day, but when it happened...I was hard pressed not to laugh. He was very commical and I didn't believe him for a minute. I felt "meaner" later in the day when I made him go into the house to cool off after being outside for only a half hour.
Adoption Update
Yesterday, Hubby and I went to meet with the new employees at our agency. Our caseworker had retired quite suddenly and the birth mother counselor is always changing (they seem to get pregnant and end up staying at home with their children). So, we went in so that we could all get to know each other.
To be honest, up until today, I had been feeling "abandoned." Our previous caseworker had sent out monthly newletters, had called us, and kept in close contact with us. We hadn't heard anything from the agency since the changes took place in May. We let them know how we felt (very nicely) and offered suggestions as to help keep in touch with people. We even offered to help with a newsletter. By the end of the meeting, we felt a lot better. We also left with the knowledge that currently all of the birth mothers had chosen parents. That news was a bit disheartening, but I know it will happen when it should and our wait hasn't been that long (just a couple of months).
Until next time...
Please excuse any spelling errors, etc. My spellcheck is being blocked by some other program.
Saturday, July 22, 2006
Bargain Shopping
I am not a bargain shopper. I try to be. I love deals as much as the next person, but I seem to repel them.
There is a standing joke in my family that you could place two or more identical objects in front of me and ask me which one I liked best...or just to pick up one of the objects...and I will always pick the most expensive one. Unfortunately, it really isn't a joke...it happens...all the time!
This curse of always picking the most expensive item does not stop me, however, from trying to find a good deal. I like to go to garage sales and, if it doesn't require a lot of digging, I will even go through the sales racks at stores.
Earlier this week I found a bargain...or so I thought. I was at a store and found a really nice pair of shoes to go with a dress I am wearing to my brother's wedding in August. I was really excited when I noticed the shoes were only $8. I was so happy that I called my friend that is a "huge" bargain shopper. This girl can find name brand clothes for $1. My friend came over and loved my shoes so much that she wanted a pair for herself. We went to the store and they were now (3 days later!!!) $4. I wanted to smack my head into a brick wall!
My great find was now not so great. Yes, they were heavily discounted when I bought them. Yes, I still had gotten a good deal on them. But, as usual, I had not gotten the best deal. Oh well. That's my life. Thankfully, I love my life.
Until next time...
There is a standing joke in my family that you could place two or more identical objects in front of me and ask me which one I liked best...or just to pick up one of the objects...and I will always pick the most expensive one. Unfortunately, it really isn't a joke...it happens...all the time!
This curse of always picking the most expensive item does not stop me, however, from trying to find a good deal. I like to go to garage sales and, if it doesn't require a lot of digging, I will even go through the sales racks at stores.
Earlier this week I found a bargain...or so I thought. I was at a store and found a really nice pair of shoes to go with a dress I am wearing to my brother's wedding in August. I was really excited when I noticed the shoes were only $8. I was so happy that I called my friend that is a "huge" bargain shopper. This girl can find name brand clothes for $1. My friend came over and loved my shoes so much that she wanted a pair for herself. We went to the store and they were now (3 days later!!!) $4. I wanted to smack my head into a brick wall!
My great find was now not so great. Yes, they were heavily discounted when I bought them. Yes, I still had gotten a good deal on them. But, as usual, I had not gotten the best deal. Oh well. That's my life. Thankfully, I love my life.
Until next time...
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Update
On July 11, I stated in my post that I had finally worked up the courage to email someone whose blog I read on a regular basis. Well, I received a reply via email that my question would be answered in their blog. And it was. Even though I think I may have come across as "scattered"...to put it nicely...he was very thoughtful and detailed in answering my question. I felt much better about having sent my email. My only "uugh" moment was when I emailed him thinking only my "nickname" would show. Instead I realized when he replied to me that ALL of my info was displayed.
I was terrified that when he went to answer my email on his blog that he would forget to block out my personal info. I decided to trust this man (whom I've never met) based on the fact that the topics he covers and by the way he writes he is usually very careful not to identify the people he writes about. I was not let down. My "identifying" info was not displayed...except for parts I had written about myself in my email...which could be just about anyone. My faith in man remains.
Now..on to a different topic..YIPEE!!! I've had 93 visitors to my blog...although most are just "passing through" and I've only had one comment. Oh well...93!!! To those of you that've read my posts...thanks for taking a minute to browse!
I was terrified that when he went to answer my email on his blog that he would forget to block out my personal info. I decided to trust this man (whom I've never met) based on the fact that the topics he covers and by the way he writes he is usually very careful not to identify the people he writes about. I was not let down. My "identifying" info was not displayed...except for parts I had written about myself in my email...which could be just about anyone. My faith in man remains.
Now..on to a different topic..YIPEE!!! I've had 93 visitors to my blog...although most are just "passing through" and I've only had one comment. Oh well...93!!! To those of you that've read my posts...thanks for taking a minute to browse!
Sunday, July 16, 2006
"Little Lord Cheez-Its"
My son loves to sing, be sung to and listen to music. As part of his bed-time ritual, he gets to pick a song for us to sing before going to bed. Tonight, he chose his current favorite "Manger"...know to the rest of us as "Away in the Manger."
We sang the song, but apparently I need to enunciate better. Half-way through the song Peanut said, "I want Cheez-its!" Confused, I repeated, "You want Cheez-its?" He looked at me and said, "Yes. I love Lord Cheez-its!"
My husband and I tried to explain that the words were "Lord Jesus," but I doubt he believed us. At least I think I know why "Away in the Manger" has been his favorite song for so long. Cheez-its are one of his favorite snacks and he thinks we've been singing songs about it!
We sang the song, but apparently I need to enunciate better. Half-way through the song Peanut said, "I want Cheez-its!" Confused, I repeated, "You want Cheez-its?" He looked at me and said, "Yes. I love Lord Cheez-its!"
My husband and I tried to explain that the words were "Lord Jesus," but I doubt he believed us. At least I think I know why "Away in the Manger" has been his favorite song for so long. Cheez-its are one of his favorite snacks and he thinks we've been singing songs about it!
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
I did it!!
Oh boy!!! I did it!! And I'm still shaking so bad that I can barely type.
What did I do? Well, probably not something that would throw others into the tizzy that it's sent me. Probably something that isn't really that big of a deal at all. I emailed someone. Well, not just anyone, but a person that I don't know and whom I've never met. Huh. Reading that sentence drives home the fact that I'm making too big a deal out of this.
Anyway...this person (whom I don't know) has a blog that I read on a regular basis. His blog is definitely not "mainstream, " however I find it informative and interesting. Through reading his blog and that of someone I believe is a friend of his, I've learned a bit about myself.
For a while now, I've wanted to leave a comment on his blog but just have not had the courage (I don't know why...face it...I'm odd). However, he frequently invites people to email him with questions and what not...so tonight I took him up on it.
My email was nothing special...possibly not even coherent. But now I don't feel like a lurker...man, I dislike that word. It makes me feel dirty. Anyway, I set a goal for myself (see last post) and just as I was thinking that I was going to chicken out...I did it! So, more than learning about myself through someone else's blog, I've also achieved an important goal that I set for myself. Now...if only my weight loss goals were as easy to conquer, but that's a whole 'nuther topic!
Until later...
What did I do? Well, probably not something that would throw others into the tizzy that it's sent me. Probably something that isn't really that big of a deal at all. I emailed someone. Well, not just anyone, but a person that I don't know and whom I've never met. Huh. Reading that sentence drives home the fact that I'm making too big a deal out of this.
Anyway...this person (whom I don't know) has a blog that I read on a regular basis. His blog is definitely not "mainstream, " however I find it informative and interesting. Through reading his blog and that of someone I believe is a friend of his, I've learned a bit about myself.
For a while now, I've wanted to leave a comment on his blog but just have not had the courage (I don't know why...face it...I'm odd). However, he frequently invites people to email him with questions and what not...so tonight I took him up on it.
My email was nothing special...possibly not even coherent. But now I don't feel like a lurker...man, I dislike that word. It makes me feel dirty. Anyway, I set a goal for myself (see last post) and just as I was thinking that I was going to chicken out...I did it! So, more than learning about myself through someone else's blog, I've also achieved an important goal that I set for myself. Now...if only my weight loss goals were as easy to conquer, but that's a whole 'nuther topic!
Until later...
Friday, July 07, 2006
Learning about me
Yeah, I know...I've already posted today. But seriously...it was just filler because I felt I needed to post...I wanted to post...something. Now, I have something I just have to get off my chest.
Tonight...well, actually it's been a while now...I've been reading various blogs. I have a couple of favorites I visit just about every day. I've read about lurkers and have come to realize that I am a lurker. It sounds kind of creepy...lurker. In fact it makes me feel like a "Peeping Tom." I guess I am. By reading others blogs, I am peeping at the lives of others. The difference between real Peeping Tom's and myself is that the people I am peeping at are allowing me to...expecting me to peep into their lives. One doesn't create a blog if one doesn't expect others to "peep."
I, myself, invite people to peep into my life. I've gotten mostly lurkers, some "fly-bys" (not sure what a person is called when they get to your blog by the next button and leave the same way without reading anything), and one comment. It is disappointing when people read but don't comment (however, most of the time, I'm just excited if someone has bothered to read my postings), although I have never commented on someone else's blog (thus...I am a lurker).
So, my goal is going to be to leave a comment for someone on their blog. Actually, there is one blog where the author has put out his email and invites questions. I have one I've been wanting to ask, yet I always feel as though I'm intruding. It's scary to reach out and talk with someone you don't know. Especially when that person seems so very different from yourself. But, I guess fear just holds us back and sometimes it can be a good thing to get over it. So, wish me luck!
Tonight...well, actually it's been a while now...I've been reading various blogs. I have a couple of favorites I visit just about every day. I've read about lurkers and have come to realize that I am a lurker. It sounds kind of creepy...lurker. In fact it makes me feel like a "Peeping Tom." I guess I am. By reading others blogs, I am peeping at the lives of others. The difference between real Peeping Tom's and myself is that the people I am peeping at are allowing me to...expecting me to peep into their lives. One doesn't create a blog if one doesn't expect others to "peep."
I, myself, invite people to peep into my life. I've gotten mostly lurkers, some "fly-bys" (not sure what a person is called when they get to your blog by the next button and leave the same way without reading anything), and one comment. It is disappointing when people read but don't comment (however, most of the time, I'm just excited if someone has bothered to read my postings), although I have never commented on someone else's blog (thus...I am a lurker).
So, my goal is going to be to leave a comment for someone on their blog. Actually, there is one blog where the author has put out his email and invites questions. I have one I've been wanting to ask, yet I always feel as though I'm intruding. It's scary to reach out and talk with someone you don't know. Especially when that person seems so very different from yourself. But, I guess fear just holds us back and sometimes it can be a good thing to get over it. So, wish me luck!
Lists
I love lists. I am always writing lists. Grocery lists, to do lists, lists of things to pack for vacation, lists of books I want to read, lists of things I want to see/places I want to visit.
I write them on the computer, on my PalmPilot, scraps of paper, and my favorite...sticky notes.
Here are 3 lists I've had for a while that I am always updating. They started out as something my friends and I would do to kill time (email and compare our lists)...we still discuss these from time to time.
My Top Ten "Feel-Good" Movies (even if some are cheesy)
1. Dirty Dancing (I go weak in the knees every time when Johnny curls his finger at Baby.)
2. American President
3. The Little Mermaid
4. Never Been Kissed
5. Ever After
6. North to Alaska
7. Mrs. Winterborne (sp?)
8. While You Were Sleeping
9. Pillow Talk
10. Girls Just Want to Have Fun
Top Ten Favorite Books/Series
1. The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks(My all time favorite.)
2. the Stephanie Plum series by Janet Evanovich (I love Ranger and Joe!)
3. the Alex Cross series by James Patterson
4. Oh, the Places You'll Go by Dr. Seuss
5. Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss
6. Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus
7. anything by Dan Brown
8. The Christmas Shoes
9. The Christmas Blessing
10. James Patterson's Women Mystery Club series
Top Ten Sexiest Men (of all time)
1. John Wayne
2. James Garner
3. Tommy Lee Jones
4. Sylvester Stalone
5. "The Rock"
6. Steven Seagal (His voice alone just does it for me.)
7. Vin Diesel
8. Hugh Jackman
9. John Corbett (preferrably clean shaven)
10. Dr. Phil (I can't help it...I think it's the bald thing.)
I write them on the computer, on my PalmPilot, scraps of paper, and my favorite...sticky notes.
Here are 3 lists I've had for a while that I am always updating. They started out as something my friends and I would do to kill time (email and compare our lists)...we still discuss these from time to time.
My Top Ten "Feel-Good" Movies (even if some are cheesy)
1. Dirty Dancing (I go weak in the knees every time when Johnny curls his finger at Baby.)
2. American President
3. The Little Mermaid
4. Never Been Kissed
5. Ever After
6. North to Alaska
7. Mrs. Winterborne (sp?)
8. While You Were Sleeping
9. Pillow Talk
10. Girls Just Want to Have Fun
Top Ten Favorite Books/Series
1. The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks(My all time favorite.)
2. the Stephanie Plum series by Janet Evanovich (I love Ranger and Joe!)
3. the Alex Cross series by James Patterson
4. Oh, the Places You'll Go by Dr. Seuss
5. Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss
6. Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus
7. anything by Dan Brown
8. The Christmas Shoes
9. The Christmas Blessing
10. James Patterson's Women Mystery Club series
Top Ten Sexiest Men (of all time)
1. John Wayne
2. James Garner
3. Tommy Lee Jones
4. Sylvester Stalone
5. "The Rock"
6. Steven Seagal (His voice alone just does it for me.)
7. Vin Diesel
8. Hugh Jackman
9. John Corbett (preferrably clean shaven)
10. Dr. Phil (I can't help it...I think it's the bald thing.)
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
4th of July Weekend
Happy 4th of July! We had a great weekend. On Saturday, we went up to my parents house and camped in their yard. Most of my aunts (there are five of them) were there and so were their kids. As usual, there was a bit of drama...brought on by my grandmother (as usual). But, it didn't ruin the weekend.
Peanut was in his glory. He spent just about every waking minute outside running around. He got to ride his tricycle, swim, ride on the 4-wheeler, play on the swings, and play ball! He also got to see more fireworks and go for hayrides.
I got to spend some time with my Dad. We took Peanut and went to garage sales yesterday. Yes...I like to pick through other people's "trash." I find a lot of great things for my kids at school and for Peanut. I had wanted to spend some time with my Mom, but as usual she came up with an excuse. However, when everyone went on the hayride yesterday, my mom and I stayed home together (although she didn't do it to spend time with me).
On a totally different note...I got a bit of a surprise when I checked the visitor stats to my site and found that I'd gotten a few more visitors...and they are actually reading some postings!! I know it's a bit weird to get excited about this, but out of 73 visitors about half (maybe more I'm embarrassed to say) don't spend any time at this site. Gee...and here I thought my life was so interesting. LOL
Anyway...until later...
Peanut was in his glory. He spent just about every waking minute outside running around. He got to ride his tricycle, swim, ride on the 4-wheeler, play on the swings, and play ball! He also got to see more fireworks and go for hayrides.
I got to spend some time with my Dad. We took Peanut and went to garage sales yesterday. Yes...I like to pick through other people's "trash." I find a lot of great things for my kids at school and for Peanut. I had wanted to spend some time with my Mom, but as usual she came up with an excuse. However, when everyone went on the hayride yesterday, my mom and I stayed home together (although she didn't do it to spend time with me).
On a totally different note...I got a bit of a surprise when I checked the visitor stats to my site and found that I'd gotten a few more visitors...and they are actually reading some postings!! I know it's a bit weird to get excited about this, but out of 73 visitors about half (maybe more I'm embarrassed to say) don't spend any time at this site. Gee...and here I thought my life was so interesting. LOL
Anyway...until later...
Saturday, July 01, 2006
Long day
Today was a very busy day. It started out with a visit to the eye doctor (a specialist that treated me when I experienced an ocular miagraine). I didn't have a sitter, so I had to take Peanut with me. Yeah...that lasted all of 20 minutes. He wasn't bad, but he was very active. So, I rescheduled...I think the nurses thought I was upset with them. I wasn't...just peeved that I had to come back next week. But, it was the right thing to do.
After the doctor's office, we came home and cleaned house. What I don't understand is that we can fly, put people on the moon, clone things, but no one has invented a house that cleans itself???? I hate cleaning my house, which you'd know if you ever stopped by unannounced. My house is usually so dirty that if you showed up and didn't warn me first...I might not answer the door. At times it looks like the "Before" picture on the HGTV (I think...or is it TLC?) show called "Clean Sweep." I think it might be TLC. Anyway, I cleaned it...well most of the public parts. The kitchen and bedrooms were not done...ran out of time and energy.
The nice thing is, you walk in and everything is spotless!!! We leave tomorrow to go up north to my parents for the 4th of July and I'm excited to know that when I come home it will be clean!! Maybe this time I can keep it clean...probably not.
Well, I'm exhausted. My brother, sister-in-law and niece came down for the concert and fireworks here in town tonight. They were wonderful. Peanut loved them as usual. S.., my niece was frightened, but did well. Once they started, she seemed to really enjoy them. So, because I have another long day tomorrow, I'm off to bed.
Have a safe 4th of July...and have fun!!
After the doctor's office, we came home and cleaned house. What I don't understand is that we can fly, put people on the moon, clone things, but no one has invented a house that cleans itself???? I hate cleaning my house, which you'd know if you ever stopped by unannounced. My house is usually so dirty that if you showed up and didn't warn me first...I might not answer the door. At times it looks like the "Before" picture on the HGTV (I think...or is it TLC?) show called "Clean Sweep." I think it might be TLC. Anyway, I cleaned it...well most of the public parts. The kitchen and bedrooms were not done...ran out of time and energy.
The nice thing is, you walk in and everything is spotless!!! We leave tomorrow to go up north to my parents for the 4th of July and I'm excited to know that when I come home it will be clean!! Maybe this time I can keep it clean...probably not.
Well, I'm exhausted. My brother, sister-in-law and niece came down for the concert and fireworks here in town tonight. They were wonderful. Peanut loved them as usual. S.., my niece was frightened, but did well. Once they started, she seemed to really enjoy them. So, because I have another long day tomorrow, I'm off to bed.
Have a safe 4th of July...and have fun!!
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Coasting
Well, since Monday I've just been coasting through the days. I am getting a bit tired of the rainy weather. It doesn't usually bother me, but being trapped in a house with a 2 1/2 year old who doesn't understand why he can't go out and ride his bike is starting to get to me.
Today we went to the library for story time. We went last week and Peanut loved it. He enjoyed it today also, although he was quite tired. He's already askeing about next time, unfortunately it's cancelled next week due to the 4th of July being the day before. Today I let him pick out a book to take home. He was so excited. We had to read the book 3 times when we got home.
Peanut has also discovered "pretend" play. Lately, his favorite thing is asking Hubby and I if we want nuggets, hamburger, tacos, etc. and writing down our order (hmmmm....me thinks we might be eating out too much). Today, Peanut and I were getting dinner ready (ok...I was doing most of the work), and he decided to get on his little wooden car and "go to work." So he looks at me and says, "I go to work Momma! Bye!" I said 'bye and blew him a kiss. He jumped off his car and said, "I need kiss!" So I gave him one and he said, "Now I go to work!"
Awww! I usually have to beg for a kiss. Today he was giving them away like crazy. I love my life!
Tomorrow we (Peanut and I) will be going to Barney in "concert." Yippee. The things I do for my baby. I just hope it doesn't rain.
Until later...
Today we went to the library for story time. We went last week and Peanut loved it. He enjoyed it today also, although he was quite tired. He's already askeing about next time, unfortunately it's cancelled next week due to the 4th of July being the day before. Today I let him pick out a book to take home. He was so excited. We had to read the book 3 times when we got home.
Peanut has also discovered "pretend" play. Lately, his favorite thing is asking Hubby and I if we want nuggets, hamburger, tacos, etc. and writing down our order (hmmmm....me thinks we might be eating out too much). Today, Peanut and I were getting dinner ready (ok...I was doing most of the work), and he decided to get on his little wooden car and "go to work." So he looks at me and says, "I go to work Momma! Bye!" I said 'bye and blew him a kiss. He jumped off his car and said, "I need kiss!" So I gave him one and he said, "Now I go to work!"
Awww! I usually have to beg for a kiss. Today he was giving them away like crazy. I love my life!
Tomorrow we (Peanut and I) will be going to Barney in "concert." Yippee. The things I do for my baby. I just hope it doesn't rain.
Until later...
Monday, June 26, 2006
I Have Survived!!
It sounds a bit more dramatic than it really is, but I have survived. I survived one month (it was actually longer, but the truly trying time has been the last month) of planning a wedding shower for my husband's step-sister (a real sweet-heart) with his step-mom (normally a very sweet, fun person).
Here's a bit of backgroun on SMIL (step-mother-in-law). She has been married to my father-in-law twice (and we'll leave it at that). She is normally (at least when we are around and that isn't as often as any of us would like...usually) fun, sweet, and incrediably caring. She wants desperately for everyone she loves to be happy...and this is where the problems begin. The most annoying behavior we usually see from SMIL is at Christmas when we get what has now become known as the "Grandma Death Letters." Every year we get emails trying to pin down a date at Christmas that EVERYONE can make it. Every year it's impossible...at least one person can't make it. This is a "mixed family" or maybe the term is "blended family." There 4 children (2 his and 2 hers...from seperate marriages...none together). Hubby is the only married child (who also has a family...Peanut and I). The 4 kids all have their "other" family to work around and my hubby also has my family. Then there is the fact that 2 of the 4 kids live out of state along with grandmothers and an aunt and uncle. See how confusing it gets?
Well, when SMIL can't get everyone to agree to a time and place (last year she wanted us to drive 8 hours round trip to have dinner in a restuarant with a 1 year-old!), we get the "letters." They essentially state that this year is quite possibly Grandma's last year on Earth and we should all make every effort to come. How would we feel if she died and we missed our last chance to see her???
Guilt does not work with me...it just pisses me off! My own mother has never tried to guilt me into anything. AARGH!!
Anyway...back to the shower. I had offered to give a shower to my husband's step-sis when we were told she was getting married. Because is was a very short engagement (a couple of months...I know there are shorter...FYI: she's not pregnant either) we had to work fast. I explained to my SMIL that because I had a lot of weddings this year and was giving another shower, I couldn't afford to spend a lot of money. She said fine and it was decided that she would help give the shower (cover the meal and the room that she picked out at a local hotel).
So far so good.
In the last 3 weeks, the "theme" changed 2 times, the room changed 3 times, the layout changed 2 times (the last being 2 hours before the shower), the menu changed 4 times, the cake changed 1 time (the day before the shower...more on this later), the decorations changed too many times to count, not to mention the guest list changed 4 days before the shower. I was getting up to 4 emails a day from SMIL. Usually she would ask for my advice (she's never given a shower...I have given a lot), but then ignore it. Our $300 budget (this is just for the cake, decorations, invitations, etc. It doesn't include the room and meal) quickly was blown. Please note that I have never spent that much for an entire shower (everything included) in my life!! Granted there are usually 10 people giving the shower instead of 3, but still!!! It was the most elaborate and wasteful shower (we used only a fraction of the stuff we bought) I've ever seen.
The most stressful time happened (understandably) the week before the shower. The stress was brought on by SMIL not being able to make up her mind and stick with a decision (this was the biggest problem throughout). With 4 days before the shower, SMIL changes the whole make-up of the party by inviting the guys (who were previously going to go to lunch together). She was upset because some older out of town relatives couldn't make it (hello...the youngest was in her 60's and none are in good health) and the other guests weren't RSVPing (she had decided to do regrets only...this is not a good thing for her). So, she didn't want to only have 13 people there and invited the guys. No biggy, but she then expected me to find an overnight sitter for Peanut at the last minute. It wasn't happening, so then we got the shower's equivelent to the "Grandma Death Letter." She accused hubby and I (mostly me I think) of being unsupportive and asked how we would feel if this (a small party) happened to us. Like I stated earlier, I don't do guilt well. I talked it over with hubby and because this is not the first time (nor even the third) that we've gotten messages like this, he was okay with the response I sent her. I tried to be as nice as possible, while conveying to her to "get over it." As a result my nice but very pointed letter (I told her I was sure she didn't mean it, but I didn't like to be attacked and called unsupportive) I 'm sure I made her cry. Knowing I probably made her cry (she's VERY sensitive...me...not so much), I sent her a stress-relief basket to soften the blow. I do love the woman...I just don't like her when she's planning an event.
Moving on...the day before the shower was when the comedy of errors really began and none were because of SMIL. Before we left to drive the 3 hours to the in-laws place, I checked my email. SMIL had sent me a note asking me to call the cake place...down the street from her house and have her future son-in-law's name added to the cake (I had wanted to do this when we ordered the cake). No problem. When I called the store, they couldn't find the order, but the women supposedly wrote down my request along with my name, the pick up time and 2 phone numbers (home and cell). Then I called my mom to ask a quick question and was told she had just gotten word that a cousin of mine who had been battling cancer only had days to live. Once Hubby, Peanut and I got on the road we found that our normal 3 hour drive was going to be a bit longer. The trip to the other side of "town" usually takes about an hour. 2 1/2 hours later, we finally made it out...gotta love construction. Our 3 hour drive took us a total of 5 1/2 hours thanks to construction.
After arriving at the in-laws things were fine. SMIL and I hugged and made sure that we were okay. Like I said, I love her and usually like her a lot. We went out for a nice dinner. Then Hubby, Peanut and I went to pick up the cake. You've probably already guessed that there was no cake. We looked everywhere, as did 3 store employees (there was no record of the order or of my conversation with the woman earlier in the day...nor did anyone leave us messages...we checked). Lucky for us the "best decorator" came in at that time. Within 15 minutes she had whipped us up a beautiful cake. We did have to call SMIL and have her confirm the color of the flowers. When she asked Hubby how the cake looked, he told her it was beautiful...mind you, at the time there was no cake. She never knew that the cake was not there or that the store gave it to us for free. Can't wait to share that story!
Anyway, the end result was that the shower was elegant and fun. The food was good. The cake was great! Everyone (except SMIL) had a wonderful time (she spent a lot of time in the bathroom crying...never did find out if it was me or her ex-husband's wife that made her cry). I tried to be "gentle" with her and not do anything to set her off, but I don't "get" sensitive/indecisive people and acknowledge the fact that there might have been something (though I can't imagine what) I did that upset her. She came home from the shower, laid down on the couch and cried some more. I am completely baffled.
Well, it over and there are only 2 left unmarried. Both boys...men. One I can do a shower with his mom. SMIL's son...I'm thinking I'll donate money but be too busy to help. Not fair, but better for me.
Until later...
Here's a bit of backgroun on SMIL (step-mother-in-law). She has been married to my father-in-law twice (and we'll leave it at that). She is normally (at least when we are around and that isn't as often as any of us would like...usually) fun, sweet, and incrediably caring. She wants desperately for everyone she loves to be happy...and this is where the problems begin. The most annoying behavior we usually see from SMIL is at Christmas when we get what has now become known as the "Grandma Death Letters." Every year we get emails trying to pin down a date at Christmas that EVERYONE can make it. Every year it's impossible...at least one person can't make it. This is a "mixed family" or maybe the term is "blended family." There 4 children (2 his and 2 hers...from seperate marriages...none together). Hubby is the only married child (who also has a family...Peanut and I). The 4 kids all have their "other" family to work around and my hubby also has my family. Then there is the fact that 2 of the 4 kids live out of state along with grandmothers and an aunt and uncle. See how confusing it gets?
Well, when SMIL can't get everyone to agree to a time and place (last year she wanted us to drive 8 hours round trip to have dinner in a restuarant with a 1 year-old!), we get the "letters." They essentially state that this year is quite possibly Grandma's last year on Earth and we should all make every effort to come. How would we feel if she died and we missed our last chance to see her???
Guilt does not work with me...it just pisses me off! My own mother has never tried to guilt me into anything. AARGH!!
Anyway...back to the shower. I had offered to give a shower to my husband's step-sis when we were told she was getting married. Because is was a very short engagement (a couple of months...I know there are shorter...FYI: she's not pregnant either) we had to work fast. I explained to my SMIL that because I had a lot of weddings this year and was giving another shower, I couldn't afford to spend a lot of money. She said fine and it was decided that she would help give the shower (cover the meal and the room that she picked out at a local hotel).
So far so good.
In the last 3 weeks, the "theme" changed 2 times, the room changed 3 times, the layout changed 2 times (the last being 2 hours before the shower), the menu changed 4 times, the cake changed 1 time (the day before the shower...more on this later), the decorations changed too many times to count, not to mention the guest list changed 4 days before the shower. I was getting up to 4 emails a day from SMIL. Usually she would ask for my advice (she's never given a shower...I have given a lot), but then ignore it. Our $300 budget (this is just for the cake, decorations, invitations, etc. It doesn't include the room and meal) quickly was blown. Please note that I have never spent that much for an entire shower (everything included) in my life!! Granted there are usually 10 people giving the shower instead of 3, but still!!! It was the most elaborate and wasteful shower (we used only a fraction of the stuff we bought) I've ever seen.
The most stressful time happened (understandably) the week before the shower. The stress was brought on by SMIL not being able to make up her mind and stick with a decision (this was the biggest problem throughout). With 4 days before the shower, SMIL changes the whole make-up of the party by inviting the guys (who were previously going to go to lunch together). She was upset because some older out of town relatives couldn't make it (hello...the youngest was in her 60's and none are in good health) and the other guests weren't RSVPing (she had decided to do regrets only...this is not a good thing for her). So, she didn't want to only have 13 people there and invited the guys. No biggy, but she then expected me to find an overnight sitter for Peanut at the last minute. It wasn't happening, so then we got the shower's equivelent to the "Grandma Death Letter." She accused hubby and I (mostly me I think) of being unsupportive and asked how we would feel if this (a small party) happened to us. Like I stated earlier, I don't do guilt well. I talked it over with hubby and because this is not the first time (nor even the third) that we've gotten messages like this, he was okay with the response I sent her. I tried to be as nice as possible, while conveying to her to "get over it." As a result my nice but very pointed letter (I told her I was sure she didn't mean it, but I didn't like to be attacked and called unsupportive) I 'm sure I made her cry. Knowing I probably made her cry (she's VERY sensitive...me...not so much), I sent her a stress-relief basket to soften the blow. I do love the woman...I just don't like her when she's planning an event.
Moving on...the day before the shower was when the comedy of errors really began and none were because of SMIL. Before we left to drive the 3 hours to the in-laws place, I checked my email. SMIL had sent me a note asking me to call the cake place...down the street from her house and have her future son-in-law's name added to the cake (I had wanted to do this when we ordered the cake). No problem. When I called the store, they couldn't find the order, but the women supposedly wrote down my request along with my name, the pick up time and 2 phone numbers (home and cell). Then I called my mom to ask a quick question and was told she had just gotten word that a cousin of mine who had been battling cancer only had days to live. Once Hubby, Peanut and I got on the road we found that our normal 3 hour drive was going to be a bit longer. The trip to the other side of "town" usually takes about an hour. 2 1/2 hours later, we finally made it out...gotta love construction. Our 3 hour drive took us a total of 5 1/2 hours thanks to construction.
After arriving at the in-laws things were fine. SMIL and I hugged and made sure that we were okay. Like I said, I love her and usually like her a lot. We went out for a nice dinner. Then Hubby, Peanut and I went to pick up the cake. You've probably already guessed that there was no cake. We looked everywhere, as did 3 store employees (there was no record of the order or of my conversation with the woman earlier in the day...nor did anyone leave us messages...we checked). Lucky for us the "best decorator" came in at that time. Within 15 minutes she had whipped us up a beautiful cake. We did have to call SMIL and have her confirm the color of the flowers. When she asked Hubby how the cake looked, he told her it was beautiful...mind you, at the time there was no cake. She never knew that the cake was not there or that the store gave it to us for free. Can't wait to share that story!
Anyway, the end result was that the shower was elegant and fun. The food was good. The cake was great! Everyone (except SMIL) had a wonderful time (she spent a lot of time in the bathroom crying...never did find out if it was me or her ex-husband's wife that made her cry). I tried to be "gentle" with her and not do anything to set her off, but I don't "get" sensitive/indecisive people and acknowledge the fact that there might have been something (though I can't imagine what) I did that upset her. She came home from the shower, laid down on the couch and cried some more. I am completely baffled.
Well, it over and there are only 2 left unmarried. Both boys...men. One I can do a shower with his mom. SMIL's son...I'm thinking I'll donate money but be too busy to help. Not fair, but better for me.
Until later...
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Most Unusual Teacher Gift
I bet you didn't realize it, but teachers get the most unique gifts. Here is one that I just had to share with you.
Tonight at a Pampered Chef party (yes, I really know how to live it up), attended mostly by teachers, we were trading stories about our most unusual gifts from students or their parents. Among the ones that made us laugh (along with wanting to cry because most of these gifts come from people that have nothing) were the used date book, the spiral notebook where the mom had written nasty notes to the dad (ex-husband), and a teddy (not a teddy bear). However, "Joanne" had one that was a clear winner.
On the last day of school, a mom of a terrific student in Joanne's class brought her in a beautiful basket of items. The mom explained to Joanne that it was a "couple's basket" because she wasn't sure if Joanne was married (please note that Joanne goes by Miss *****). Joanne thanked the mom and took the basket. When she opened it, she discovered some nice (mostly) items. There were his and her towels, lotions, body scubbers (you know those puffs on a string?), and various other items. As Joanne dug deeper into the basket she discover the two "best" items. The first was a box of OB tampons (You know the kind where you have to use your finger to insert it? Who thought of that anyway? Yuck!) and the second was a thing of Summer's Eve Feminine Spray. Lovely.
Joanne thinks that the mom probably won the basket at a shower or somewhere and regifted it without knowing that those two products where in the basket.
We all agreed that the tampons and feminine spray were the most "unusual" gifts ever. Can anyone beat that? If so, I'd love to hear about it! Please leave a comment!
Tonight at a Pampered Chef party (yes, I really know how to live it up), attended mostly by teachers, we were trading stories about our most unusual gifts from students or their parents. Among the ones that made us laugh (along with wanting to cry because most of these gifts come from people that have nothing) were the used date book, the spiral notebook where the mom had written nasty notes to the dad (ex-husband), and a teddy (not a teddy bear). However, "Joanne" had one that was a clear winner.
On the last day of school, a mom of a terrific student in Joanne's class brought her in a beautiful basket of items. The mom explained to Joanne that it was a "couple's basket" because she wasn't sure if Joanne was married (please note that Joanne goes by Miss *****). Joanne thanked the mom and took the basket. When she opened it, she discovered some nice (mostly) items. There were his and her towels, lotions, body scubbers (you know those puffs on a string?), and various other items. As Joanne dug deeper into the basket she discover the two "best" items. The first was a box of OB tampons (You know the kind where you have to use your finger to insert it? Who thought of that anyway? Yuck!) and the second was a thing of Summer's Eve Feminine Spray. Lovely.
Joanne thinks that the mom probably won the basket at a shower or somewhere and regifted it without knowing that those two products where in the basket.
We all agreed that the tampons and feminine spray were the most "unusual" gifts ever. Can anyone beat that? If so, I'd love to hear about it! Please leave a comment!
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Grateful
Occasionally (or not so occasionally) in life, things happen that make you grateful that you are living the life you are. This happened the other day when a good friend on mine, "Elizabeth," was telling me about her most recent date.
I have two very close friends that happen to be in their mid to upper-30's and single. Not such a horrible thing from where I'm sitting (usually). They don't have to plan around other people, they can do what they want, etc. I know...it's not all it's cracked up to be, but you know that saying about the grass being greener...? Sometimes, I'd like that freedom...but NEVER enough to leave Hubby or Peanut.
Anyway, Elizabeth has been doing this on-line dating thing with not a lot of luck. She's met a couple of guys with potential, but either she's not into them or their not into her. Last weekend she had another date. This guy sounded really good and they'd had some good conversations (mostly through email I think). Anyway, they arranged to meet.
Well, they met. Apparently, he was late. Not a good start, but he did show up and I'm don't remember how late she said he was. When he showed up at the restaurant his vehicle was in really bad shape (color: primer grey; VERY dirty inside), but she thought, "Okay...it's not a great car and it's got a lot of junk in it but maybe he uses it for work." So, they get out of their vehicles and she realizes she's a bit disappointed in his appearance, but since she kinda knew what to expect (short and balding) she's still ready to give the date a try. During the phone conversation describing the events, I decide to try to be positive and say, "Well, at least he had his teeth!" (You can see where this is going.) Elizabeth doesn't respond. "Well, he did...didn't he?" I ask more worried and unsure as the seconds ticked by.
"No. Well, not all of them," she replies.
"What do you MEAN he didn't have his teeth? Do you mean he had false teeth? Please mean that he at least had false teeth!"
"Nope."
"Oh...well," still trying to be optimistic I push on, "were the teeth he did have at least in good condition?" By this time I'm not sure I even want to know the answer to this. But I could guess it as I'm sure you can.
"Nope." Well, let's just say, the date wasn't a success. To give Elizabeth credit, she didn't suddenly remember she had to babysit her niece or some other pressing event. She went into the restaurant and tried to make the best of it. However, and this is ME speaking, I would personally have a difficult time sitting across from someone trying to eat or carry on a conversation when that person was missing a lot of teeth and the rest were not looking so good.
As I hung up the phone, I felt bad for Elizabeth AND her date. Two people, both 40 or soon to be, trying to find "the one." Elizabeth is wonderful...easy going, fun, funny, smart, and pretty. I don't know her date but was told he was nice and I am lead to believe that he could carry on an interesting conversation (at least through email). However, neither is having an easy time finding someone to spend the rest of their lives with. It's selfish, I know, but it's times like this I feel especially grateful that I'm married to Hubby (he's a pretty good guy...no matter what I say)!
I have two very close friends that happen to be in their mid to upper-30's and single. Not such a horrible thing from where I'm sitting (usually). They don't have to plan around other people, they can do what they want, etc. I know...it's not all it's cracked up to be, but you know that saying about the grass being greener...? Sometimes, I'd like that freedom...but NEVER enough to leave Hubby or Peanut.
Anyway, Elizabeth has been doing this on-line dating thing with not a lot of luck. She's met a couple of guys with potential, but either she's not into them or their not into her. Last weekend she had another date. This guy sounded really good and they'd had some good conversations (mostly through email I think). Anyway, they arranged to meet.
Well, they met. Apparently, he was late. Not a good start, but he did show up and I'm don't remember how late she said he was. When he showed up at the restaurant his vehicle was in really bad shape (color: primer grey; VERY dirty inside), but she thought, "Okay...it's not a great car and it's got a lot of junk in it but maybe he uses it for work." So, they get out of their vehicles and she realizes she's a bit disappointed in his appearance, but since she kinda knew what to expect (short and balding) she's still ready to give the date a try. During the phone conversation describing the events, I decide to try to be positive and say, "Well, at least he had his teeth!" (You can see where this is going.) Elizabeth doesn't respond. "Well, he did...didn't he?" I ask more worried and unsure as the seconds ticked by.
"No. Well, not all of them," she replies.
"What do you MEAN he didn't have his teeth? Do you mean he had false teeth? Please mean that he at least had false teeth!"
"Nope."
"Oh...well," still trying to be optimistic I push on, "were the teeth he did have at least in good condition?" By this time I'm not sure I even want to know the answer to this. But I could guess it as I'm sure you can.
"Nope." Well, let's just say, the date wasn't a success. To give Elizabeth credit, she didn't suddenly remember she had to babysit her niece or some other pressing event. She went into the restaurant and tried to make the best of it. However, and this is ME speaking, I would personally have a difficult time sitting across from someone trying to eat or carry on a conversation when that person was missing a lot of teeth and the rest were not looking so good.
As I hung up the phone, I felt bad for Elizabeth AND her date. Two people, both 40 or soon to be, trying to find "the one." Elizabeth is wonderful...easy going, fun, funny, smart, and pretty. I don't know her date but was told he was nice and I am lead to believe that he could carry on an interesting conversation (at least through email). However, neither is having an easy time finding someone to spend the rest of their lives with. It's selfish, I know, but it's times like this I feel especially grateful that I'm married to Hubby (he's a pretty good guy...no matter what I say
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